Revitalizing the Neglected Spaces in Our Hearts and Minds
My adorable backyard shed.
I have an adorable shed on my property. Well, it was adorable until I neglected it. After dumping leaves behind it for too long (it became compost 🫣), it had a lot of wood rot on the back, and so when we kicked the rats out of my crawlspace, they made a b-line for my cute shed.
Today, as I plan my year ahead as a coach and leader, I feel amazing that my handyman is replacing the last of the rotted wood and cleaning out my shed for the first time since I bought it.
Now, the cute, adorable exterior matches what's inside.
Navigating divorce has been a similar journey.
In my marriage, everything looked great from the outside.
But for the last 10 years, I was lonely, and we both were unhappy. As we moved forward with family events and the day-to-day, I slapped on a brave face and acted like our holidays moving forward would look the same.
But that's impossible.
Our hearts have changed. We've grown, our kids have grown. I've let go of habits that created much of my unhappiness. I cleaned out deep patterns shared with me as a married woman by my friends but mostly by my mom and her mom.
Stay quiet, support your husband at all costs, make sure your kids are happy, and delay your needs for another time.
This pattern didn't serve either my ex or myself. No one asked me to behave this way — it was just what I thought was "right." Everyone was comfortable, and I was SO rewarded for my actions — so they must have been good, right?
Since I moved out three years ago today, I've come home to myself. I have had the freedom to lean into what I really want and need to live life vibrantly and with a heart that's open to love again.
Yes, romantic love, but also a deep love for my family, where I can lean in with them with a clean and open heart.
This didn't come without the usual growing pains or the bravery of being really honest and dropping some old ways of being.
Why I'm writing about this…
… Because it's brave to honor the dirty, rat-infested sheds in our hearts and minds.
And we don't need a major relationship change, like divorce, to have an invitation to lean back into our best, most authentic selves. It does take some emotional work, but it also requires a guide.
When we're in patterns and social systems and mindsets, we cannot see them.
This past year, I've coached so many beautiful leaders who came to me with issues that were breaking their hearts or interfering with their amazing lives: alcohol, toxic work environments, ugly divorce journeys. By leaning into what they really want in life, they're healing and finding their mojo, their lane, and their beautiful, vibrant selves again. It's a sacred space.
I'm opening up year-long and short-term coaching spots this year.
Would you like to understand what having a coach supporting and guiding you would be like?
Would you like to reach your goals faster, knowing that you align with your values as you build your life and business?
Then I invite you to a consultation with me.
You do NOT need to be committed to hiring a coach to take advantage of this call. This is a conversation where you have the freedom to share your dreams and what might be getting in the way. You'll have clarity after this hour on what your next steps are with coaching and the issues you bring to the call.
When I describe toxic relationships, divorce, and big changes, this work seems heavy. But what's so great about having a coach during these situations is that you'll experience and learn to give yourself three things:
Self Compassion. Stepping into self-grace and curiosity loosens the grief and the pain of what you're going through. This is where you have an opportunity to process your emotions and step into a more grounded space. AKA less pain.
Self Awareness. By investing time to process what's going on with your life as you make decisions and react to the circumstances around you, you'll be gaining deeper insight into what's at play. You'll become a natural observer of your mind and be able to lean into what you know is right for you — right now.
Aligned Action. This is the best part. Once you get insight into what's holding you back and realize what you want to create in your life, the action becomes easier and easier. You'll be gaining a new relationship with fear and know when to act and when to slow down.
I've been a guide and life coach for 10 years (learn more about me here), and the pleasure of doing this work is so gratifying. I absolutely love seeing where you're holding yourself back, where you ARE really doing an amazing job and holding space for the experience you're having.
If any of this resonates with you, I'd love to hear from you.
Get in touch or schedule your free consult call with me right here.