Remember your Agency in the Tough Moments
I was going to write a different email today, reminding you that every single time, you choose how you think about yourself.
And then I remembered something that is more important than that to start this conversation.
We have been sold a lie on performance. We have been taught that self sacrifice creates great results. We have been taught that doing it scared (dysregulated would be my word) and pushing through any discomfort and working really long hours creates great results.
These choices do create a lot of action and of course that can create a lot of result. It is also how we create burnout & anxiety.
Is this how you want to pursue your vision? Do you want to be miserable along the way? The best lesson I learned while I was learning to run my coaching practice was this: creating results and enjoying the process creates sustainable action and results. And it creates joy along the way. Also, this choice was me choosing MY WAY of promoting my business and that worked SO MUCH better than forcing myself to do things that others thought were THE way to be successful.
I thoroughly enjoyed taking some time with growth minded entrepreneurs this past Monday afternoon at my Roundtable: Owners Making a Pivot. The most energetic part of the conversation was giving each attendee some time to share their vision: what they can see a year from now. They were so powerfully clear. When they discussed the obstacles of moving toward these goals, there was a consistent theme. For each of them, their self talk was giving them some angst and slowing them down.
THIS is where the agency comes in and the options of how to move through our negative self chatter. We ALL experience this because we’re human. When you are in high growth this is when our SELF DOUBT gets loud, and yes, it can be really loud. You can push through, brainwash yourself that you feel better than you do OR you can be with yourselves in these moments and understand what is happening.
This is oversimplified but so important to remember. The mind always gets chatty when you’re taking brave, futuristic action. Change feels unknown and scary to the mind until you get there. Our thoughts will always create an action or inaction. If this self chatter is slowing you down, your agency comes from being CURIOUS. Yes, it’s that simple.
First inquiry: Is there a common trigger to this self doubt thought loop? There can be patterns, and when we start to recognize them you won’t be as surprised when it happens again and you can start disrupting this loop.
Second inquiry: What is the thought that is creating this angsty emotion? When we say or write this self talk conversation out and say it out loud, it can dissipate the emotional impact of this thought or story running around in our mind. Also, when we actually see the words our mind is thinking we can decide whether we want to continue thinking this way about ourselves (yes you choose). The mind invites management, you decide how you want to think about this situation.
Third inquiry: When you think about your vision, when you are in that powerful energy that is literally creating your future…..how does that feel? This is the space where clarity lives. This is when options are clear, next steps are easy to see.
This process is not about creating a life where the self doubt never comes. This is all about not getting stuck in self doubt and believing the minds thoughts here. This is about creating ease and a little more joy in moving forward on your YOUR PATH to your vision on what’s next.
You get to enjoy the journey of growth. Joy lives in the spaces where you honor your emotional experience and humanness and forge ahead in the brave new frontier you’re creating in your business.
Carry on, you’re doing it right if self doubt has shown up. the way out is remembering who you really are and managing your mind at a new level.
xoxo
Diana
P.S. Oh do join me at my events in June, July. (I’ll add August dates as I know my schedule)
Check out the registration links on this information pages. I had to move some dates due to some trips we slipped into our calendar.
Leader’s Table-Women’s Edition (June 18th, July 9th and 16th)
A free social salon experience for women leaders seeking community, clarity, and support to move from overwhelmed to grounded, intentional, and strategic thinking. We have enjoyed 5 sessions together and after reading the info if you’d like to be a part, sign up for as many of the sessions as you’re able to attend.
CLICK HERE FOR INFO AND REGISTRATION
Leader’s Table–Roundtable Focused on the Pivot (June 15th, July 13th and 24th)
I’m all about coaching and supporting pivots, of any nature. If you are in a pivot of any sort, or know a business owner who is, this is an experience designed for them. It’s designed to make those in big change feel less alone, it’s a facilitated coaching conversation sharing insights with one another at the table.