Mindset and Emotional Work (Part I-The Thought Model)

I had a great opportunity to share the impact of coaching on my own life and my clients lives in a beautiful interview with interns at a financial firm 2 weeks ago. It gave me pause. I had this desire to go back and do more of a workshop with the interns because I feel like I left them hanging. So you both win, because I’m going to share it with both of you.

So much can be revealed about our own behavior, our "stuckness" and our anxiety by employing a simple tool: Self reflection, with a few intentional questions.
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Use this series of questions with pen and paper to get to the bottom of an issue or experience that isn’t working well for you. Let me know how it goes.

When you are feeling it, are a bit stuck, overwhelmed by a convo you need to have, are anxious or frustrated by something that is happening in your day. If these emotions keep grabbing your attention….
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​PAUSE And ask yourself these questions. Use a sheet of paper with CTFAR written down (see below) and fill in as you go.

We’re filling in a thought Model one line at a time. This tool changed my life and is great to lean into when you’re feeling stuck or overwhelmed or frustrated.

• What is the predominant emotion right now? And if there are a few, just go ahead and write them down. I’m feeling……….. (This goes in the F Line)

• Next question is why? What is (are) the sentence(s) running around in your mind, perhaps over and over again? I am ___________ because ______________.

• This is where getting out all of your thoughts can be so useful. It can bring insight but also be a bit of a thought dump. Go For It if there are many thoughts getting your attention.

• Now that you’ve gotten this out, what is THE predominant thought that you recognize is causing the emotional reaction you’re having right now. (This goes in the T Line)

• When you’re in this emotional feeling state….what are your natural actions or inactions? (This goes in the A Line)

• Over a period of time, when you continue to feel and act in this way, what is the result? (this goes in the R Line)

• To tie this up, when does this thought get triggered? What Circumstance or set of circumstances causes this thinking to be triggered? (This goes in the C Line)
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  The thought model structure
  C __________
  T __________
  F __________
  A __________
  R __________
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Circumstances in our lives trigger thoughts.

Thoughts create emotions/feelings.

Feelings move us to actions or inactions.

Actions over time create our Results

Results are always a product of our thinking.
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We always have power over our results. When we look at our thinking with curiosity we are able to see options in shifting our thinking or releasing a way of thinking that does not serve us.

Hey, I just did this with a personal example today and I already feel better realizing I am taking some circumstances in my life too personally. Let’s see where this can support you this week.

Next week a powerful set of questions when the emotions feel big and awful and how to create some space for them instead of feeling IN them all the time.
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xoxo,

Diana

P.S. I love creating community for women. CLICK HERE​

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