Nothing ever was certain.
We were in familiar patterns, we thought the future was looking pretty dang strong in January and February of 2020.
None of our lives were ever certain, we just thought they were. Ask anybody that has experienced a tragedy, overnight, all that was certain is gone! We are experiencing some tragic events. They are changing our country forever. I believe in a good way. I know the way I choose to think about the future creates my certainty.
I want to remind you of what creates certainty for you. I define certainty mindset wise as the belief that the control and certainty of my results is in my power, no matter what circumstances come my way. That is why I created the Zone of Genius MM, that is why I’m coached, and love to coach others. Our minds, thoughts and decisions are our certainty.
The way that you show up can be certain and very dependable. The circumstances are flying at us, new ones all of the time. We first have CoVid, then extended quarantine, economic shutdown, now racial injustice and protests and looting/physical damage being done to our cities.
Our certainty comes from our thinking in response to our world. I put a stake in the ground on March 13th on our first stay of Sheltering In Place. I ‘knew’ in my head that my circumstances cannot create a result in my life. I ‘knew’ that my thoughts created my results. And by results I mean strong relationships, a healthy body, a thriving business, new clients…..etc. I decided I was going to test the mindset model I know and love and lean in fully into doubling down on my beliefs around my future.
AND BOY WAS IT TESTED. I mean the life that we are living right now is playing out like a VERY BAD MOVIE.
But this I know, our thoughts create our results. I have grown, I am more confident, I might have my hard days but I have bounced back stronger than I EVER have before.
How? By being aware of my thinking, and letting go of beliefs that do not serve me. I create as a weekly practice, doubling down on thinking that creates inspiration, belief, and certainty. But there is a new way that I’m spending more time in certainty. How? By allowing the emotions that come with all that is happening around me and experiencing them. Not pretty, not fun, not my normal routine.
Awareness of our thoughts is paramount to understanding why we’re seeing results in our lives when we want to change. What is also a powerful tool is learning to experience the emotions that our thinking creates. Every thought creates an emotion. If we get really good at avoiding the full experience of our emotions (raising my hand here FOR SURE), we create a stuckness. (yes I like to make up words!!!) We’re working so hard to NOT feel our thoughts that we are creating a weariness, an exhaustion. It is very tiring to fight your emotions.
My certainty and confidence comes from not only being aware of thoughts that rock that feeling, but to fully feel all of the feelings that come my way. That was why I wrote what I did last Tuesday. I gave myself space (in a new way) to experience the loss, the fear, and all of the emotions that come watching real events happening around us. And all of the good ones. By allowing the emotions, I could move to intentional thinking more quickly.
No one taught us to Process Emotion. It naturally feels like crud to experience fear, anger, sadness and all of those negative emotions. That is why we avoid those emotions. This practice of avoiding emotion can also steal us from fully experiencing the amazing ones. My journey of experiencing emotions actually started with allowing myself to feel great emotions. To relax and let them be experienced in my entire body. That was fun.
Ok now I’m on the journey to understand what I can learn experiencing my negative emotions.
There are some surprising positives to allowing vs resisting emotion:
- Emotions last as a vibration in your body for 90 seconds.(resistance makes it last longer, good to know)
- If you identify the sensation of it lessens the pain of it. (describing our emotions helps us to watch the emotions vs fully experiencing it.)
- If you let it move, breath and allow it will leave. (I was feeling a punch of shame the other day, got curious about it, saw the thoughts and asked it to move, it did) This is not woo woo, ok a little bit, this is working with our biology!!
When our emotions are allowed vs resisted:
- We feel relief (thank goodness)
- We can break an unhelpful pattern
- We see things we didn’t realize were there-insight is underneath
- We move on more quickly to what we need to do next vs feeling stuck
- It gives us wisdom and insight
YES ALL THIS from a 90 second exercise of breathing through emotion. Try it!!!
Would you love to move from procrastination, frustration in your business and life to more joy, productivity and insight? That is what having a coach is all about. Click here to open a powerful conversation on what is possible with 1:1 coaching.