You’re trying to get a lot done but you’re just simply too distracted? Or you’re about to do a big presentation and you’re either too tired or nervous?
If you find yourself in those situations, this episode is for you.
This week, I want to talk to you about three simple but powerful tools to help you turn around any situation when you’re “just not feeling it.” Tune in to find out how just five minutes can quickly boost the productivity of your day or simply turn around a moment when you feel bogged down.
I encourage you to use this episode as a resource and come back to it whenever you need to and make sure to download the worksheet that I created to help you with this work.
Welcome to Empowered Wellness for Leaders, a podcast that teaches CEOs, entrepreneurs and sales leaders how to deal with the unique challenges of balancing a high-stress career, family, AND their own health. Here’s your host, Certified Executive Wellness Coach, Diana Murphy.
I am thrilled to be back home. I was in Dallas for a week visiting my son, but I also had an amazing time at a mastermind led by Brooke Castillo. I went to her coach school. So The Life Coach School coaches are amazing to hang around with. I learned so much and I know that there’s going to be some amazing outcomes after what I learned.
So I have an event that I want to announce at the end of the podcast. It’s in just a couple of weeks, so maybe just for those in Atlanta it works, but some of my clients are traveling, but I’m going to make that announcement at the end of the podcast. So if you’d like to be invited – I love inviting people – just wait until the end.
And no worries, if you don’t want to stay on, I totally understand. That’s why I separate these invitations from the main podcast. I want this to be a time that you can sit back and really learn something that will apply to your day.
Alright, do you have those moments during the day that you’re just not feeling it? You’re trying to get a lot of work done, but you’re so distracted or you’re about to walk into a big presentation and you’re just not feeling it. Either you’re really, really nervous, or you’re going into maybe a more low-key group and you just are tired and not into it or that time when you’re having a really difficult time because you need to have a kind of difficult conversation with someone or you just got some bad news. And then you’re meeting with your team or with your family and you’re just finding it really difficult to be in the moment with them.
This podcast is for you if you find yourself in those situations and want a really simple but powerful way to turn them around. That’s what I’m going to talk about today. What I’m going to share is how five minutes can change the entire productivity of your day or kind of turn around a moment. And do you know, I’m all about that one thing philosophy; helping your brain to calm down by just doing one new thing at a time. So I encourage you to use this podcast as a resource and come back to it when you need to listen to it.
Choose one of the tools to try today, even throughout the week, and go back to the podcast if you want to use one of the other tools or have another situation to apply. You’ll understand when you hear it. I always provide resources in the show notes. Those are for you to download so you can access to reading it.
I am a reader after I’ve listened to something, so you can find that in dianamurphycoaching/24 and you’ll have a resource guide that’s available to you there in the show notes. I’ll give you a little overview.
The first tool is to clear your mind of distraction and negative feelings. The second is to manage your energy by setting an intention and the third is really when you are disappointed or discouraged, how to turn that around, like even right in the moment.
And each of these tools can be used with five minutes. Like, I beg you, set a timer and do these with just five minutes and really allow the power of managing your mind, which I’m going to teach you here, to really help you to turn things around.
Alright, so the first tool is how to clear your mind of being really distracted or feeling a lot of negative emotion. And this is the tool I call the thought download. When should you use this? You wake up and your brain is just full of – it’s Monday, you’re kind of crabby or you’re nervous at a certain point or you’re really frustrated.
Grab a sheet of paper. This is not gorgeous journal time. These aren’t thoughts you want to ponder on. Grab a sheet of paper and write down everything that you’re thinking in that moment; everything. And don’t be bashful, this is a time to be really curious and write down everything that comes on your mind.
And sometimes, you’re going to have to prompt yourself. I’m really teaching you to self-coach, like what am I thinking, why do I feel bad? Sometimes even asking why you feel distracted or negative or crabby, why am I crabby, and write down everything that comes from that why.
Now. Most of us are uncomfortable doing this. I know I am. This is one of the tools I resist and actually, I’m making a commitment to move forward with and practice because we think ignoring our negative thoughts will make them go away. Unfortunately, that is not true. They operate in our subconscious in the background, almost on an auto-loop.
So by taking some time to unload them on paper, it literally relieves your mind of this subconscious and unnecessary thinking. There are some subconscious great thoughts that create great emotion. That’s how we get a lot done; that’s how we do things in routine like doing laundry and doing things that are very normal in our day.
But you notice, when there’s some drama that comes up, that’s a thought that you might want to work on. So this is the time when you can relieve your mind of what’s happening in the subconscious by looking at it. Now, there’s one more caveat or rule, you cannot judge your thoughts because when we do, we can’t get access to them.
We lose our curiosity, so think of these moments as being really curious and compassionate towards yourself. They are just thoughts in your mind and we are not our thoughts. We, as humans, are the only beings – mammals don’t do this – we can think about what we’re thinking. Humans are so beautifully unique that we can think about what’s on our mind; fascinating.
So because we can, we get caught in a lot of automatic subconscious thinking that creates a lot of crappy emotion. And when you’re finding yourself stuck in that, a thought download is relieving. So test me on this; do a thought download.
I am committing to doing this five days a week. So check in with me on this one – I want to see what the results are. You know, this exercise, in a way, just lets off steam. When I sit down to do a podcast, sometimes I’m really nervous, and it would be a perfect time for me to do that and so sometimes I just gut it out. I bet you can tell the difference. I bet you can tell when I’m feeling a little nervous on a podcast.
So I’ll sit down in that moment to give you an example and say, what’s on my mind? What’s going on? I’m going to suck or I’ll make an error and I’ll have to record it over and over. Oh, those boys next door are going to start playing basketball right when I start. Somebody’s going to ring the doorbell. I’m terrible at this. Those are literally the things that are going on in my mind.
They’re really not what I believe about myself. They’re not what I believe around this podcast. I love doing this podcast, but my brain loves to attach to these unnecessary notions as they slip on by. So by getting them down on paper, like I did right there, just saying them out loud, I could understand why I was feeling a little nervous and having a hard time sinking into the conversation with you today.
So this really does work. It’s just a reminder that this isn’t natural for you. Even me, the coach, who it’s my profession, I’ve been doing this for four years, I resist it sometimes. And so it’s just natural to do that, remember that, and just get really curious. And remember, set a timer for five minutes and just bust that stress, frustration and fear or whatever’s going on in your mind.
This is something that a lot of coaches do a lot of and I think it is very helpful, so you can make it a normal part of your routine, but you don’t have to. You can use it when you need it. That’s what I want to share with you today; just use these when you need them.
My next five-minute strategy is how to manage your energy. This is when you’ve got a big event, you’re writing a big article, you have a big sales call, you’re walking into a large networking event. This is something you can write down before you go in. Sometimes I take index cards with me before I go somewhere and I literally start writing down what I want to talk about, remind myself to be an attentive listener, kind of remember who I want to look for and just take some time to think this through.
You don’t need to write it down. It can be a way that you even breathe into the moment before you walk in the door somewhere. And this is where we dial up our energy. If we’re really tired, it might be where we sink in and calm down, where we want to be a good listener.
I get very nervous, actually, in large groups. I get this level of social anxiety that does not look like I’m nervous, right. It does not look like I’m anxious around big groups of people. I get big, I get boisterous, I interrupt people. Oh, I hate this energy, by the way, and I hate how it comes to other people.
So I use this setting intention – every time I remember, by the way – every time I go with a group of people that are important to me. It could even be family. And I try to remember and decide what type of energy I want to bring to the situation. If I’m speaking, how do I want that audience to feel?
I want them to feel connected to me. I want them, to know that I’m really not different than them and that I have some of the same struggles or I want to make sure I’m really insightful to them, like I read the energy of the group and really help them to stay engaged in what I’m sharing.
If it’s a social event, it is how can I be a really good listener. You can especially use this tool when you’re doing something new or handling a difficult conversation. We know that we cannot make the other person – did you know that you cannot make the other person react in the way you want to?
We can’t control anyone but ourselves and we can’t control the emotions of others, how they respond to our difficult conversation, but we can take responsibility for the energy that we bring to that conversation. This question I just love in these moments; how do I want to show up? How do you want to show up?
It’s natural to get nervous in so many situations, and personally, I hate that feeling. And sometimes it’s good to learn how to channel it, and this is the way I think I channel it and turn it around. I don’t indulge in being nervous; nothing really great comes out of that. and I just take responsibility for what I bring to that moment; then I can be really proud of what I did.
It’s the most powerful thing you can do. You know, I think of the conversations that I’ve had with some of my clients when they have been worried about having a hard conversation with their boss or they’re even worried that their boss is – like they’re having these thoughts in their mind that they’re going to be fired and they really don’t have a lot of factual information that creates that, but they don’t want to have that conversation feeling that way. None of us really do.
And we don’t come off as our best selves when we’re feeling raw negative emotion, so in this exercise, when you really want to shift your energy around – either you’re tired and want to raise the dial, like taking a deep breath and kind of getting pumped up or slowing down and sinking into yourself by taking a deep breath and just setting the intention by how do I want to show up right now and take just a little bit of planning.
When I enter doorways and, I think, I know there’s some other coach that mentioned this, and I started doing that as a reminder to slowly breathe. So take a slow breath, decide, and point your brain in the right direction. Bring that amazing energy that you’re bringing into the room. It will help the others around you. They won’t even know why they’re calmer because you are deciding to be really connected.
Alright, so that’s the second tool. My last one is my favorite and I’ve shared this before, but I don’t think it’s every repeated too often. This is five minutes to get back into action and it’s by using the question, what are you proud of?
You know, this is really useful when you’ve had bad news, you didn’t get the results you hoped for or you’ve had a really bad conversation with someone; you’re feeling like you almost want to cast off what happened. You’re discouraged, you just aren’t feeling good. And this is when you take a journal – and this is where I think journaling is helpful – or a piece of paper. Anything is useful. And write down everything that you’re proud of.
Get quiet and take note. Keep asking yourself, what are you amazing at? What are you proud of, even in the midst of feeling discouraged or disappointed or mad at yourself. And this isn’t false happiness. This is denying that you didn’t get the deal or acting like it’s all okay that you made a huge mistake.
What this is, is helping you to move back into your zone of genius so you can quickly get back to figuring out what to do next and take inspired action. Alright, so we’ve got three of them. The first one is just clearing your mind of distractions and negative feelings, and that’s what I call the thought download. Again, just writing everything on your mind to relieve your mind of those thoughts. it’s a good thought-interrupter.
The next tool was setting intention, taking some time to really manage your energy so that you bring to every conversation, every talk, every writing exercise, anything that you’re working on, you bring that really great zone of genius energy; you set the intention. I even do this before I write my podcasts.
And the last is really turning around discouragement and it is really helping you to get back into action because if we fell apart every time we had bad news, we wouldn’t get anything done. And so this tool is to really turn things around so that you can be really proud because proud works. Proud really creates a lot of great action and it really is just helping you to get back to your zone of genius after you’ve been really frustrated by something or really discouraged.
Did any of those get your attention? What are you committed to doing with these tools? I hope you’ll take me up on it and download them so that you have them handy. And I’m going to make it very, very simple and have like three questions for each tool so it’s very easy for you to duplicate and use in your own life. And make a commitment – decide which one – and practice that. I think that’s what makes transformation.
I know I had to practice a long time when I was a nervous freaked out business owner four years ago. I had to practice the being proud a lot, but it really worked for me. It worked very well and that’s what I want these tools to be for you, something you can really lean into.
Everything that we believe creates our results and that’s what these five-minute exercises are for, to create the beautiful results that you want. I hope you enjoyed the podcast. This was a short quick one just to give you a resource. Have an amazing week. I hope you had a great 4th of July and I cannot wait for what I have for you next week.
Next week, I’m going to be sharing how great results do not come from perfection. Great results, my friend, come from your beliefs and you are going to love it. I’ll see you there.
Alright, if you stayed on, I’m so excited that you’re thinking about attending my next workshop. It will be in the Atlanta area, and last thing I heard, we are a pretty dang easy airport to fly easy into. So you’re welcome to attend and I will be providing trip support for any that are flying in with hotel options and also some events for those who travel if you’d like to. We will have a Friday welcome.
This is a retreat. This is a workshop. It’s an opportunity, most of all, for transformation. Every year that I have fully engaged with just two days of training at my mastermind at my coaching school or any retreat I’ve attended, I create astounding and new results and that’s what I want to create for you.
Because I’m in the business of helping people to not only learn great performance tools like today but give them great coaching experiences where they can kind of get out of the weeds, I help people to walk away with an entirely different mindset in a space where they can create an entirely new and healthy life. That’s the work I’m all about.
And it sometimes sounds too easy to be true, but what I’m learning is that’s exactly what I’ve done with my life by getting out of my own way. There are so many tricky innocent thoughts that are slowing you down and I’m going to help you to see those and clear the way and walk away with four steps that you can take consistently in the next 30 days; basically, your personal plan to either lose weight or lose stress or take inspired action towards your goals. Everything that we talk about is going to combine that perfect mindset and wellness in one place.
Alright, if you’re interested at all or have some questions, just send me an email; email@example.com to get the details. Oh my gosh, I would love to have you there. Are you ready? Are you all in? I am. You do not want to miss this day.
There is also a link to the workshop details on my workshop tab on my website. If you can’t find it, just email me and I’ll send you the link. During this day there’ll be healthy fresh food, like-minded attendees, a few surprises and a refreshed outlook that will motivate you to get the results that you want.
I cannot wait to see you there. Thanks for staying on and thanks so much for being a listener. If this isn’t for you, no worries. I can’t wait to bring some more webinars and other great events to you in the future. Have a great day. See you next week.
Thank you for listening to this episode of Empowered Wellness for Leaders! If you enjoyed this episode and want to learn more, download our Free Video Series: Empowered Wellness Now. Visit dianamurphycoaching.com to sign up today!