Ep #8: Road Warriors: Thrive or Survive?

Welcome to Empowered Wellness for Leaders, a podcast that teaches CEOs, entrepreneurs and sales leaders how to deal with the unique challenges of balancing a high-stress career, family, AND their own health. Here’s your host, Certified Executive Wellness Coach, Diana Murphy.

Oh my gosh, I just had the most amazing birthday celebration ever. And I want to ask you, have you ever planned your own birthday? I swear it is one of the best things to do. I pictured this birthday this year a much quieter affair. I have planned a big birthday party before and had a lot of fun with that but realized I needed something quieter this year.

And as I was planning, I just kept picturing pink roses and roses on the dinner table, I was going out with a couple of girlfriends, and lo and behold that week, I ran out of time to do all those things for myself. And truly I was going to call a florist, have flowers delivered, I was going to make some arrangements for myself and drop them off ahead of time. I was going to cut a bunch of flowers for the house and have pink roses around but I, again, I ran out of time. No big drama around it.

But I’m telling you, this is what happened. this is why I believe it’s so important for us to kind of do what we really want with our lives and I really wanted pink flowers and a fun birthday with my girlfriends. And look what happened. So I run out of time, it’s Thursday, I’m gunning into a really big afternoon coaching clients, and I walk in and there are two dozen pink roses sitting in my sink. My housekeeper had come and she literally remembered my birthday and we hadn’t mentioned it, it hadn’t come up, there wasn’t a party I was cleaning the house for, and she had bought me two dozen roses, and of course, they were pink.

Cut them immediately, put them on the counter, they were exactly what I wanted to set up the kitchen where I was going to have cocktails with my girlfriends before we went out. So awesome. And we go out to dinner and we get to the restaurant and there is the most drop-dead gorgeous bouquet on my table. It wasn’t big, it was perfect for this French restaurant caf?, and my husband had ordered because he knew what time and where we were eating, and he ordered the most gorgeous bouquet for me.

And I thought I had – I asked him later, I thought I’d asked – you know, I go, “I must have hinted. What happened there?” Guess what? I had a god wink moment in a way that was so awesome, and I think it just started from this really good energy of kind of deciding how I wanted to celebrate my birthday. It worked out really well for me here, so I encourage you to try it. And know that there might be some surprises and planning your own birthday puts so much into your own power and really helps you to create an amazing event.

So enough about that, I’m not counting my birthdays anymore so we’ll move on. But I want to leave a shout out to Mogul Maggie. She is somebody who left a review for me and I want to thank her so much for that. She loved the idea of a feel strategy versus a diet strategy, and that was in episode number two. Thanks, Maggie. And if you’d like a shoutout or if you don’t, put it in the review or send me an email that you don’t want a shoutout. I don’t want to embarrass anyone, but I want to encourage you to leave me a review.

This is such an important part of promoting my podcast to those that might not know anything about me. So please take some time to do that and also it gives me the feedback so I design them better for you. If you’d like to know how to leave a review, there is an info page at dianamurphycoaching.com/itunes. But I’m going to get to the meat of it.

Alright, so many of my clients have heavy travel schedules, and I can’t think of anything more disruptive than travelling for business when it comes to healthy living. This is short nights, delayed flights, someone else deciding what you should eat. You know those banquets where it?s like rubber chicken? Or room service that isn’t open. You land at 10 and you have not eating since two, and there’s no food for you to have.

And then having the time and motivation with the schedule that we, you know, usually experience, to get to the hotel jam or get a run in. You know, it can be totally frustrating eating well and taking good care of ourselves while we’re on the road. I’m here to tell you I hear you, and I do have a perspective that I hope gives you a really fresh look at this part of your life.

This is not just for travel warriors. This is for those that might need, you know, to travel not for work but travel and where that time away really causes a shift in how they’re taking care of themselves.

This is all again about your mindset. What are some thoughts you’re thinking when it comes around travel? Do you dread it? Are you mad at your company for making you travel? Is it really anxiety producing? You don’t love being around big groups at conventions but this is part of your work. You know, what do you think when you get in travel mode, when you’re starting to book that flight, when you’re starting to decide what hotel to book?

We all have a different way of handling travel. Is it celebration mode? Or are you so frustrated that you just give up any chance of taking care of yourself and healthy manner or eating or moving department? Are you just surviving?

All it takes is one long and hard week of travel to trigger our minds into thinking that every time we travel it’s going to be wearing and prevent us from getting rest and thinking that travel’s ruining our lives. This is a little bit of traumatic stress syndrome. You know, that we have a really bad experience and that kind of triggers us the next time we travel into thinking it might be that way again.

Be compassionate towards yourself here. It’s normal to have those kinds of trigger reactions, but I think this is what’s preventing us from thriving and kind of going into survival mode. You know, we all can recount a trip where it was supposed to take four hours to get somewhere and it took 16. Like, all of us have this.

The first concept I want to share with you is bringing home with you. Bringing home with you while you travel is absolutely one way to kind of resolve this issue. And making sure that you stay connected to your home life while you’re on the road is another way to really make this a much more pleasurable experience.

The toughest part of travel is not that 5am wake up call to catch your Uber to the airport. Perhaps it’s that you’re leaving your family or you have a tough job as it is while you’re in your home city. But getting on the road means shorter nights and missing being connected to your friends and the routines that actually kind of make life okay for you while you’re working that hard.

And I think it is this huge emotional drain that makes travelling so tough. And also, the routines that we plant in our lives work so well at home but we haven’t adapted them for the road. The hotel facilities and room service are a very poor replacement for the amazing fresh cooking you do at home, for example. And there’s just no way to replace the experience you’re having at your home fitness studio.

For me, I love to work with other groups and flying solo at the hotel gym takes a little bit more motivation for me to get that commitment to work out while I’m on the road. That’s just one example. You know, are there some of those for you?

I absolutely love asking better questions, if you haven’t figured that out yet. That is true of me. And when these issues come up for my clients, it can simply come down to this: what are some ways that you can pack that are life-giving to you? What are some ways that you can stay connected to your loved ones and friends while you’re on the road?

Bring home with you, right? Bring some of those comforts at home with you, and still be at home with your relationships. I’m not trying to get too cute here, but I want to help you make that connection. When we move into travel mode and we just want to get it over with, I think we move into survival mode. We duck our head down, we just want to get through it, and it feels like it takes way too much energy to do more than just pack our toothbrush, gut it out, and wait until we get home to resume our life.

This is what I think robs us of a routine or routines that might just energize you while you’re on the road. Let’s start at the beginning. What are some simple things you could pack? Could it be a certain coffee? Do you take supplements? Do you make sure you take those with you on the road?

Do you love reading and you like read books? And you need to just admit that having a Kindle might be a treat for you? Or do you have a special tea or favorite afternoon snack that you like? Bring them with you. Okay, not all of them, we can’t take two suitcases, it costs too much to take everything with you, and that’s a burden.

But find some small alternatives and ways that you can continue your home routines. Routines are a habitual part of your day, you know, things that you might call self-care that are part of being at home. If you meditate regularly at home, you have your favorite chair, get an app that works for you with a guided meditation while you’re on the road. It almost becomes a treat. Find a small travel yoga mat. Start wearing your fitness shoes for your travel day so you can still pack light but have them available to you for walks during the week.

Again, shift from surviving the travel to where your lifestyle doesn’t look that different while you’re on the road. Okay, so I know it might seem easier to just email your family while you’re gone but I encourage you to get creative. And even set timers on your phone when you know your family’s at home or in the car.

Check in and although there might not be as much time for long conversation, a quick check in might do both of you a bit of good. I was not a travel warrior but my husband was, and we were so good at not disrupting the kid’s routine. And when they were little, we didn’t even have cell phones. Yup, I’m dating myself here.

I would have loved the chance for the kids to Facetime him while he was in a new city and look out the window of his hotel. So instead of missing them and staying in 24/7-hour work mode for you, touch base with your loved ones and your friends while you’re travelling.

You know, I’m not just speaking to those with families. If you have friends that you normally see during the week when you’re home, check in with them in a way that really works for both of you.

Oh, and one other tricky time is when you’re making newer connections. We humans love and crave connection, and I’m just wondering if this one facet of our lives that puts us on hold – travel is what I’m talking about. I hear it from so many, and remember, they’re thoughts, they’re mindsets. Maybe there’s some that you need to kind of look at and alter for yourself. I hear it from so many people.

“I travel, I just don’t have time to date.” “I’m so out of touch, I’m just giving up staying on track with my friends. I’m on the road for another couple months, I’m just going to – I’m just out of town too much.” We are robbing ourselves of these important connections in our lives.

Think through what relationships are important to you and how you can stay in touch, in a way that really serves both of you. See a better question. What is a way I can stay in touch with my relationships while I’m on the road? What are some things I can bring with me that really make sense and really make a difference for me on the road?

In terms of healthy eating and moving, we must take what works at home with us on the road. For me, as I mentioned, I love group fitness so I love checking out local gyms. I use the MINDBODY app, I’ve really given up trying to work out in the hotel gym. It works for me about once a week I can do that, but I love being around a group of people.

And I use the MINDBODY app or even Google and check out local classes. You know, and one trip I found this amazing spot in Denver that they only charged me for the class and I know I was in a gym that I probably couldn’t afford here in Atlanta. It was awesome, it was luxurious, and I had a lot of fun working out with a really good trainer.

Have your trainer or look up your own fun workout routines online. There’s another app called FitStar, Tony Gonzalez created it, you know, he used to play for the Falcons. And he dared to retired – I still miss him on the football field, but he created the FitStar app, and they literally are workouts that are created for hotel rooms. So you have no excuse anymore. He does push-ups against the hotel wall, he does dips on the edge of the bed, really cool ways of adapting a workout to a small space.

But creating something that feels like a treat will help it feel more motivating to work out when you’re heading down to the hotel gym. You know, finding something that’s a little more fun, better music, have even a playlist that is much more fun, you don’t allow yourself to listen to this unless you’re on the road.

Again, it’s treating yourself and kind of making this a little more life-giving instead of sucking the life out of you, right? Feeding your social needs, okay, by now you know I’m an extrovert, so some of you might really like sitting and recovering in your hotel room. And I’m all for that. This is all about shifting your mindset though, in ways that you know are for you.

Alright, the food. I know, it’s the food. It usually can be a big challenge, but if we start feeling defeated before we even get started, we’ve really harmed ourselves in this. So if you are in a routine of cooking and preparing fresh food at home, you have a lot of fresh places to get good takeout, it might be pretty disappointing to travel to a city without many options or stay at a hotel that has basic bar food only.

But again, your attitude counts here, and you’re in the driver’s seat in terms of what goes in your mouth. If you have a car, drop by the grocery store, pick up your favorites and have them in your hotel. Require that you always have a room fridge. Make sure you’re using hotels and asking for a room fridge so you can keep these things on hand.

You can prep your own breakfast in this way, you can have healthier snack options if the dinners leave you wanting. You know, eating foods that are more processed and are higher in sugar and flour can make us feel puffy and sleepy. This is why eating more as much what you know is your fuel while you’re on the road is absolutely important.

Remember, it’s a percentage game. It may not look like what you do at home, but if it resembles it and it’s a close percentage to it that your fuel intake is pretty decent, you’re going to find that you’re going to have more energy during your long week away.

Are you hearing a theme here? I do think it takes a little extra energy and a bit of planning to make our travel week so they are serving us. But when it gets frustrating, we tend to give up. We have plenty to keep up with as we prepare for our meetings, attend those conferences, and those sales meetings for our business. But when you take really good care of yourself first, it may be just the difference between having a successful week and not.

Another mindset shift that can disrupt eating and moving well while we’re on the road is that it feels like a vacation. Okay, seriously, when I was in college, I started this little trigger. Most times I was getting on an airplane after finals, and it meant celebrating. I was finally going home, I even had a long-distance relationship during my freshman year when this pattern was established, and I began celebrating the minute I got on the airplane.

And this was all about those little cocktail bottles that I loved having a drink and eating whatever I wanted. You know, I really sensed that trigger when I travel today. “Oh, we’re on a road trip,” and I feel like I’m on vacation mode, and I’m like – I find myself ordering a Bloody Mary at 11am. Not really. That isn’t my gig really, but you know, you see how these triggers can be in place for us.

So if you find that being on the road feels like a treat and eating out is to be enjoyed and vacation time is not for your workouts, those sneaky beliefs might be at play when you travel for work even. So watch what is kind of coming up for you and those sensations. It’s like, “Oh, this is my chance for a break,” but it’s not serving you to be overeating because you’re actually trying to lose weight or you’re sick of the yo-yo of gaining weight while you’re on the road and then having to lose that weight when you’re at home. That’s just one example.

What if our travel days just didn’t look that different from our home days? See my point here? Creating routines on the road that don’t look different in terms of engagement with family and friends, and your food choices that look pretty similar to when you’re in normal life. And remember, you know, someone else is cooking for you while you’re on the road. It might be time to just start enjoying that but order still in a way that it looks similar to what you might prepare at home.

And you can work out and move in a way that you know works for you. You know, this was a time I used being on the road as a treat and would actually look at maps and make sure I stayed in a safe area because I could run no matter what when I was on the road. Again, that was taking the shoes with me, taking one or two running outfits and making sure I plotted out my path.

And it was a beautiful way to experience the cities I was in. Again, that was life-giving to me, that was a way to experience them. I would take pictures and it was just a way to really feel like I was present and in that city for fun and enjoying it.

Changing our mindset is the absolute magic of not being derailed by travel. Do I sound a little too optimistic here? I can hear many of you saying,
“But Diana, you just don?t get it.” I do. I supported a travel warrior for most of our marriage. He’s home and off the road now but it can take a toll on not only the one travelling, but also the ones at home, certainly.

But when we rob ourselves of some simple habitual life-giving ways of taking care of ourselves while we travel, we can prevent ourselves from creating our own misery. Remember that. You can become your own victim of the mindset around travel and that really robs us of being creative about being present while we’re on the road and enjoying some of the things that are good about being on the road.

I work with and have a dear friend now who is a travel warrior. When she’s on the road, she puts in some very long days, but this shift in attitude around travel has been essential for her. She actually started working with me when she was about to hit a season of heavy travel.

And the tweaks are small and we talk about this quite often, but for her, she knows what works for her. Fresh air walks to her meeting, she always walks from the hotel to the meeting space, she gets a hotel fridge whenever possible, she scopes out the stores that are next by and makes sure she buys her favorite things, fresh things at the hotel, puts it in a refrigerator, she brings her favorite tea.

And now after several conversations she’s getting more mindful of which friends live in which cities and doing a little planning beforehand so they can get together. Even if it’s for a short visit. Oh, it makes a huge difference. I know it’s made a huge difference for her. She doesn’t resent that travel part of her life as much if I can speak for her, and I’m noticing that she’s less wiped out when she gets off the road.

Wouldn’t you love to not have this need for this huge recovery after you travel? And I think this is an example looking at this client that when she’s really tweaked a few things, that she’s not as exhausted when she gets back.

It’s no longer a time when she gains weight and then has to lose that when she gets home. That’s what’s happening for her. Live your real life, people. Do not let the road rob you.

You know, it might just help you to enjoy your job more when you start feeling like it’s not robbing you of what’s most important to you by making some of these small changes.

Alright, are you feeling a little drained from your travel experiences? And although this podcast was helpful, you really, really want some direction here. So I have created a worksheet that you can find in the show notes, and again, it’s dianamurphycoaching.com/8. This is the eighth episode and, in this worksheet, you will have a change to kind of map out and see what kind of thinking is there. I’m going to ask some great questions and just give you some time to ponder and map out your best ideas.

Remember, it’s all about moving from feeling like you have no power in the situation you’re in and taking responsibility for you amazing life. See what it did for me on my birthday? That might seem simple. Okay, a birthday is always supposed to be fun, but do you see when I took responsibility for how I wanted it go, it was amazing. I just had an amazing time.

Believe me, this is worth it. The smallest gestures towards ourselves and the way that we treat our families when we get home can make a huge difference. It’s all about being aware of those mindsets that are making it harder on you. It’s shifting that by adding a more rejuvenating routine to replace the one that you’ve been stalled in while you’re on the road.

And I think this is the biggest part. Help to prevent that emotional drain of being away by staying in better touch with your real life at home. I hope you enjoyed this episode. I’ve had some – quite a few memories kind of flowing through my mind of some of the ways that I engaged with my husband while he was away.

I’ll never forget this. My kids had applied to private school one year, and both children were waiting for letters. And we knew what day they would all come in the mail and so we piled the letters up and we waited until my husband – he was on his recovery sleep, while he was in London, he would sleep until he woke up on Saturdays when he was on a two-week stint in London.

And I remember us being sure that we were all on the phone together, good and bad, right? Opening up admission letters from school. But we shared that moment together, and I encourage you to share your real life with your friends while you’re on the road. Make sure you touch base with those people you care about while you’re on the road.

And remember to always think about ways, even in the smallest tweaks, that may not look like your five-mile run when you’re at home or the most amazing spread of healthy food, but I got to tell you, when you take more control over it and not feel so disempowered, it’s going to play out in your life. And I bet you your results and the way that you are feeling about your clients, the way that you’re showing up in your work life is really going to be different.

Let me know what you think here, leave comments on the podcast page on my website, or leave me reviews, or email me. Diana@dianamurphycoaching.com. Everything you need, if you’ve listened this long is on my website. I have the most amazing teaching series, and it’s all about getting motivated, how to manage stress, and I teach very in-depth my intuitive eating skills. And those tools are offered to you just by opting in on any page of my website.

I encourage you to get there and get some time to really take care of yourself in this way. I hope you’re having an amazing day and good luck on your next trip. I can’t wait to hear about it.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Empowered Wellness for Leaders! If you enjoyed this episode and want to learn more, download our Free Video Series: Empowered Wellness Now. Visit?dianamurphycoaching.com?to sign up today!