Success without taking action is impossible. BUT how do we continue to move forward without burning out? And why are we working so hard…
I’ve noticed I’m putting in long days, working long weeks filling every hour on my calendar. I’ve been here before and it doesn’t work. But what IS going on?
Why am I working so hard? It is a good question to ask.
I’m on day 57 of SIP, and so many people are talking about the books they are reading, the closets they are cleaning out, the projects that they are completing……and truly none of that is going on over here. A little Fear of Missing Out Here. Paying some attention to having some envy can give me some good info on what I’m not giving myself.
SO, why am I not taking this opportunity to slow down and savor? I can note all of the reasons: my business needs me to show up, I don’t want to miss this opportunity, I love my work, it’s the way to grow in my business. Those sound good but I don’t think they serve me at all.
What I know in my bones is that working more hours does not create what I want in my life.
But why on earth am I working so hard ignoring my husband’s desire to clean out the basement, join him on walks in this FABULOUS spring weather and also ignoring some of my basic self care and need for great fuel and some rest?
Because my friends I am buffering. I am filling all of my hours with work, unnecessarily, because I am avoiding some emotions.
Buffering is when we take on an activity because we do NOT want to feel what is really going on inside of us. Buffering can look like overworking, overeating, overdrinking, over Social Mediaing. It’s engaging in any activity to get away from our emotions.
My coach saw it quickly on our call yesterday when I was sounding confused that my days were really full and I was feeling a little burned out and disappointed with how I was spending my time.
What am I avoiding? What is there? (I took a deep breath and admitted) … ok, I’m sad. And kinda mad. THIS is the weekend I routinely have a visit with my mom in Florida. And even if I was willing to travel I wouldn’t be allowed in the doors of her apartment building. AND that sucks. AND I miss my friends and it’s almost like I don’t want to even pick up the phone because it just isn’t the same as lingering over dinner with them or having a lunch date.
This high energy, mostly always positive person, is starting to have a little trouble with this sheltering in place. AND THAT’S more than ok!!!
What in the world do we do about this? Because I don’t know about you, but running hard wasn’t working before Covid and it certainly isn’t working within it.
It feels better in the moment to stay busy and live in our head but it is hurting our health, our hearts, and souls.
Just admitting my true feelings on the matter, did an amazing job yesterday. AND it can for you. AND you don’t have to stay there.
Allowing our emotions is not natural for many of us. Sometimes we’re afraid to look, sometimes we’re afraid of getting stuck but that is just your brain trying to avoid pain. It’s doing its job but there is a better way to manage this.
I want to remind you that you can handle the emotions that are welling inside of you. You can handle it. That sad emotion, when acknowledged and allowed–it might cause tears, or any myriad of sensations in your body. But it passes through. I promise, emotions when expressed and allowed last about 90 seconds.
Emotions expressed allow clarity, a relief in a way and an ability to see clearly how you want to spend your time and an ability to move forward in a grounded, comfortable way.
I recommended this homework in my Zone of Genius group this week, I encourage you to try it as well.
Start each day with this quick journal prompt:
1. What are my top 3 feelings?
Whatever comes to mind first, just write them down.
For each feeling, write below it your answer to that question.
3. Don’t judge just allow yourself to watch what you’re thinking
Breath through what you’re seeing in this moment, just experience it. This is the power and practice of being present.
4. That’s it, acknowledgement is king.
***REMEMBER, just admitting to what you’re feeling is agency over what you’re experiencing.