Ep #13: Lasting Results

Welcome to Empowered Wellness for Leaders, a podcast that teaches CEOs, entrepreneurs and sales leaders how to deal with the unique challenges of balancing a high-stress career, family, AND their own health. Here’s your host, Certified Executive Wellness Coach, Diana Murphy.

Oh, happy Monday morning, welcome. I just hope you?re having a great start to your week. And if not, maybe this can just help you get centered and turn that around. I know Mondays can have their challenges and I want to share with you ? peel back the curtain a little bit here; I have had one of those weeks.

There are so many things that are going so well and are so amazing. I?m bringing in some new clients that I?m really enjoying and joined a new mastermind that is just knocking my socks off. I love the women that I?m meeting in there. But this, my friends, is I think my 13^th take of this podcast.

And I think I?ve found myself in that place where I am learning less is more. So I?m just going to sit back and give you what I got today because I think this is really, really important. The episode I?m bringing you today is going to either help you be your beginning episode in learning how to apply the food tools in your life, or it will be the one that wraps them all together if you?re following along with me with the April Food Tools.

So I want to get started, but I want you to know that this can be a really great grounding place, this episode, really learning how to create lasting results in your life. And what?s really awesome is this can be applied to anything that you want to create in your life in a lasting way, to have permanent results.

Alright, I want to get started with the podcast today, but before I do, are you enjoying the podcast? I know I really am, but if you would just do me one quick favor, would you leave me a review? This feedback helps me to bring more of what you love. It also helps others find this podcast.

Alright, I?ve invested some time this month, as you?re seeing, to share with you the eating tools that I use in my life and in my coaching practice. This episode can be used as a helpful guide to get you started or as a way to pull it all together, as I mentioned.

I?m going to help you to apply the tools of the hunger scale, slowing down, savoring and fuel testing and help you to apply them into your real life, your busy, intense and wonderful life ? and it is so worth it. There is not a workshop or a talk or a coaching series that I do, no matter or intention during that series, where I don?t teach most of these tools.

Why? These are really not for weight-loss. Although they help in that ? but it is because how we do one thing as beautiful and human and basic as fueling our bodies is how we do many things. So when we practice these tools and get more intuitive, it helps us to really see what might be going on in our life. It also sets a foundation of taking confident and inspired care of ourselves, which helps all these actions to play out in our lives.

If you want to know why, what are the payoffs, this is all about moving from headspace, where you?re thinking about what to eat and how to eat, when to eat, what?s the right way, to a more intuitive space, creating a more natural rhythm in your life.

It?s all about letting the body lead and developing trust around appetite and food choices. And if this has been an area where you?ve stressed about in your life or always curious, it can be for those who are already rocking it with eating really well, this can just build more confidence to give you a more natural eating and exercise pattern.

You have more important things to be thinking about; I know I do. So I?ve taught you the hunger scale, slowing down and savoring and feel testing. And what I?m going to share with you today is how to lay those down in your life so that you have lasting change. And my recommendations are going come in three parts.

Start in just one area of the food tools. Next, I?m going to share with you how to develop that new voice, that more intuitive voice around food and in general. Next, I?m going to help you to believe that this can be done in your life, especially if this has been a challenging area; you?ve gained and lost weight over your life or you are trying to lose weight right now or you?re just trying to be more consistent and stay not so hot and cold in your health efforts.

The third part of this is helping you to change your mind; helping you to believe you can. Let?s get started with how to get started. Start with one area. Is it the hunger scale? Is it slowing down for you? Is it learning to enjoy your food again by savoring it? Is it learning what fuel is for you?

So what grabs your attention even as I say those to you? Look at the titles on the podcast when you look at the iTunes menu; which one do you really want to dig into? Start there. Honor what grabs your attention. That will give you a lot of encouragement and motivation. Use that energy of where you?re motivated and start there.

Next, you want to layer these tools in a confident and deliberate way. What I mean by this is, don?t move onto the next food tool or even the next facet of a food tool until you really have confidence in one area. So even though I?m bringing these to you in a weekly fashion, for example, start with the hunger scale, but don?t move on until you really feel confident there.

So it?s not meant to be accomplished in a week. In fact, the hunger scale is learned really over about six weeks? time taking time to practice it. Fuel testing can really take a good solid 30 days to ? if you?re really deliberately choosing different foods and experimenting, you know, 30 days is a really good amount of time to give yourself just some space to really learn.

So again, layer those tools. Don?t move onto the next one until you?re confident in one. One area that I also have learned is you can practice one part of the tools. And the hunger scale is the perfect example. If you?re someone that is really not aware of when you?re hungry then don?t start with the entire hunger scale of always noting when you?re hungry and when you?re full; just start with that hunger side of the hunger scale, the negative side.

Take time to really note all throughout your day, am I hungry? Ask some gentle questions and note, even journal, like when you?re hungry and what?s going on for you during the day, when you might be particularly hungry or when being extremely hungry grabs your attention and gets the best of you.

And by checking in and practicing all day, that is a beautiful way to practice that negative side of the hunger scale. Again, then don?t move on noting your fullness until you?ve practiced that one side, that negative side for you. In addition, you might have one food that you think might be triggering you, so take some time in fuel testing and just watch the reactions to that food.

This is where we really give our brain a lot space to practice something and lay it down with confidence. And, you know, I know how this works. Go where your attention is. Whatever is getting your attention ? oh, I can?t wait to work on that but I should work on everything ? ignore your should statement in your brain and start on the one side that will work for you.

This really is a beautiful concept. When we work on the one thing that our brain?s getting attention, a lot of other things will happen, we?ll learn in other areas, but it really is a beautiful way of preventing overwhelm. Just trust me here. If you?re like me, you?re a fast start ? I like doing a lot of things. I think it?s a way to keep my brain busy. I?m pretty ADD, but I have learned that focusing on one thing at a time when I?m learning something new has really calmed me down and actually helped it to be more effective.

Alright, so first, start with one thing, layer the tools and confidence, and now my favorite; measure without judgment. What do I mean by this? So as you?re learning a particular tool, journaling or measuring without judgment around it will really help you learn a lot.

Alright, once you find that you are in that rhythm of focusing on one thing and you?re beginning to layer different, either parts of the tools or the entire tools with confidence and layering another facet of focusing on one area, is to journal and measure what?s going on for you.

And you know what the secret to this is? Never do this in judgment. One reason we resist even wearing a Fitbit or journaling our food is because we use it to criticize ourselves and actually beat ourselves up. So I want to just give you some suggestions and kind of help you to pull away from that way of doing things. It?s one reasons that journaling when people are working around food is the most resisted tool.

And guess what? Of course, what we most resist is usually the most powerful tool. So give yourself some space here and give these things a try. First, around fitness devices, I never love wearing one all the time. And it?s vanity ? I love wearing some of my bracelets, my favorite watch, and for me, the one I own is just kind of clunky.

But there are times in my life, and I?ve really seen where this works for me, if I?ve noticed I?ve been kind of sedentary, I might wear a Fitbit for that week and help it to motivate me and show me what I am already doing and see how I?m moving towards a particular goal.

But never, ever use that moment where your goal is 10,000 steps and you?ve only done 9000 and you beat yourself up all night. Use it to kind of be curious. See what?s working for you. When do you feel the best? And I know for me, when I do really have about 10,000 steps in my day, I do feel a lot better. My joints aren?t as achy.

And I use the Fitbit to kind of see how many steps does my dog-walk get and what kind of miles do I need to put in so that I have the amount of steps that I really feel good at? Use it to design your life in a way and get patters going and habits going that really honor what feels really good, but never use the Fitbit to beat yourself up.

Okay, another way is journaling food. There will be an example of how to journal your food in the show notes. Journaling your food can really give you a lot of insight. This is something, again, I?ve told you we naturally resist. But if you can look at it as a scientist and just see what?s going on with your body while you?re testing new foods. Or you?re learning the hunger scale and you?re learning that you really want to overeat every afternoon or there?s times you get particularly hungry, that is just beautiful information and it can give us some insight into what?s going on.

For me and when I?m working with clients, the timing, when you note what time you eat and the next time you eat, it can be fabulous information on what is fuel for you. Remember, if we?re eating fuel, it lasts two to three hours. It absolutely lasts a long time.

So if you?re trying to discover what fuel is for you, journaling your food can be a really beautiful step in understanding what?s working for you. In addition, finding patterns in your life around food ? many of us have times a day when we are particularly hungry or that are hard to control. We know we?re not hungry, but we?re really having a difficult time.

This is one you can use, even a small journal, to note, oh buy, every time at four o?clock I?m having a hard time. I really want to eat and I just want to eat junk food. Use the journal to kind of get curious. And that?s sometimes, when I note when I am in the middle of journaling or being curious around food for me, I use that journal to look back, why.

So not only do you journal your foods and times, but if there?s some particular area of brain drama that?s going on for you, just note it. And you can even wait until you have time to think about it later and go, why was I so frustrated at that time?

You may find out it?s something else in your life. You are frustrated about a conversation you just had and you may find more of that relationship of emotional eating that you just don?t even realize was there. For other clients, it?s times of boredom and they learn that they?re really bored on their drives home or they?re really bored on times during the evening.

And if you?re journaling and noticing this is happening all the time, it?s a great way to just look back and plug in some amazing ways to take care of yourself during those times. Once you?ve started to practice these tools, once you?ve started being more intuitive around food, the next phase of this or how to lay this down for lasting results is learning that you?re really creating a new voice; a new voice around food, more intuition around food.

But for me, it was really learning to honor more intuition, even around my business. As I got more quiet with food drama in my life, isn?t it fascinating that I was able to hear and be more, really, on a more of an intuition in my business. That is why it?s so important, I think, to eat in a more intuitive way.

I think this is why very successful people get a lot of growth when they learn to eat intuitively. This is why I focus on it in my practice. Developing this new voice can be a little tricky sometimes because what do you first notice? The inner critic. Okay, this is covered very deeply in episode two. It?s so important to me, it was one of the first podcasts I launched with.

But I want to just share with you here, noticing the critic will not, you know, make a slippery slope of a hard day, of honoring that inner critic voice. This is what I mean. Notice the inner critic. Notice when it pops up, but don?t honor it. Don?t indulge it. Let your awareness be very high of what that inner critic is saying. And sometimes, even writing it down during the day gets it out of your mind.

So developing this new voice comes by starting to notice the inner critic, but then know that there?s also an intuition, another voice, that wise voice. So it?s all about noticing the critic but honoring the intuition that you?re developing. And again, as I mentioned, it?s never all about the food.

Remember what you really want. This is helping that new voice get some more confidence. If, for example, you?re on a journey to lose a few pounds, you are starting to use these tools and you notice in the afternoon that you?ve done a great job of honoring the hunger scale. But you notice every afternoon, you?re beating yourself up because you want a cookie. Okay, honor that there?s a desire to have a cookie. Notice the critical voice that judges that you even want the cookie.

First of all, you just want a cookie; nothing?s really gone wrong. But then remember how you felt the last time you ate a cookie and you had a real sugar drop in the afternoon and you just didn?t feel good. So honor that wise voice that really can talk back to the critic and say, ?That?s okay, you know you don?t really want it.?

Always pulling back to what you really want and your why of doing any of this work really will help you to stay committed. And it?s not ever really about losing weight or getting more fit or looking better in your new clothes. There?s always deeper reasons why we want to do these things ? and always honor those.

When you?re finding your inner critic is piping up, take a deep breath and remember what you really want. Really, even write down your why for doing this. I want to share with you what gave me a lot of traction in my life is really remembering that the reason I was doing this is to really honor my body ? the gift I was given, right, of this physical body, so it could work for a really long time.

I?ve always wanted to be the 90-year-old in the gym. And when I remember that, I take very different steps in how I take care of myself. It reminds me, when I?m actually even working out too harshly, and especially I might work out too harshly when I have overeaten, and then I remember nothing?s gone wrong. Don?t beat your body up trying to beat off those calories, just wait until you?re hungry again.

Do you see how this works? It really grounds us to remember our why, honor this new intuition and just notice the critic, but don?t indulge in that critical voice. Our inner critic, remember, is always a liar.

The last phase of laying this down for lasting results is changing your mind around the belief around doing something new. And, my friends, this can apply to everything in your life. If there?s something new that you?re trying to be doing, I want you to really pay attention here, even if it?s not around food.

Alright, it?s about believing you can. We?ve heard this quote a lot. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results. Now, this has been attributed to Albert Einstein, and when I looked up this quote to offer it to you today, we?re not even sure that he gave us that quote, but it?s so true here.

And that?s what I want to really share with you here today. You?ll need to think new thoughts and create new beliefs in your life if you want new results. Let me say that again; you really cannot do anything new unless you think in a new way. This is all about believing you can.

And it?s not about saying mantras that are super unbelievable to you right now, right. Mantras are beautiful but trying to believe a new thought like I?m going to lose 100 pounds, you know, that is just not possible. It might be more possible to start believing, I?m going to learn how to eat in a different way that?s going to create a pattern that will help me to lose the weight I want to lose.

Do you see the difference? So let me share with you here what I mean. One thought would be changing from I can?t lose weight, and move that to, I?m learning to lose weight. I?m taking good care of my physical body. I?m learning to trust my appetite.

Remember, that inner critical voice will probably be the one that?s telling you, you can?t do it. And this is all about moving from not heeding that critical voice and creating belief that you can. And that will create the results you want in your life.

So if you find that you?re saying a lot of cant?s around this or this is hard or I?m not good at this, this is about practicing some new thinking. I?m learning to lose weight. I?m learning these tools. I?m learning to take good care of my physical body. I?m learning to think new thoughts. I?m learning to trust my appetite.

Now, this subject is fully covered in my episode, Slow is the New Fast. This is all where I dig in on shifting to practicing mind. And practicing mind is just a beautiful way that we pull ourselves to present moment. And for me, it?s built a lot of confidence. When I know I?m practicing something, I don?t judge it. It pulls us away from judgment into present mode, and that?s what I?m talking about here; changing into a space where you just really believe in that moment and kind of take a deep breath.

Alright, another example is around your exercise or movement. If you?re trying to work out and you?ve always been somebody that?s been very inactive but you really would like to be someone that moves more, your thought might be, I?m a couch potato or I?m too busy to work out or I?ve never done this.

Some new thoughts might be, I?m learning to fit in small bits of exercise and I?m going to build on that or I?m learning what I love to do in terms of exercise. I?m trying new things; I?ll see which ones work for me. Do you see how this pulls that brain off that negative thinking? Because if you think you?re a couch potato, you?ll create an apathy that is really hard to push through.

If you think you?re too busy, you?ll stay too busy and never take time. If you think you can?t lose weight, your thoughts will always create results. And if you think you can?t do it, you?re going to think of all the reasons these food tools don?t work because you can?t do it.

So honor thinking new thoughts in your life. But I want to share something here that happens really commonly. When we?re trying to think in a new way, when we?re trying new things, those old patterns peek up their ugly head. So remember that either that old pattern of thinking or that eating a guilty snack every afternoon is an old pattern for you, just expect them, but don?t honor them.

It?s a lot like that tricky critical voice. Those old patterns will come up or tempt you. That?s almost like what temptations are around food. And if you resist them, that just creates a lot of frustration and judgment. Honor them. Honor that there?s an old pattern you?re leaving and something new that you?re doing. Don?t let it surprise you. Don?t even let it surprise you that you go to an old pattern without even thinking about it. Just take a deep breath and know that you?ve got another chance to try something new in the next moment.

How do you really believe something new? How do you build your confidence? Watch how you?re speaking to yourself. Remember, you?re listening to every word. Write out that new believable thought around the changes you want to make in your life.

This is so much more empowering than mantras that other people write for us, right. And it?s fine if those are working for you, do it. But I?ve found that sometimes those mantras are just too far of a leap for me. Always write down new thoughts that are believable to you right now, that are actionable and tied to the new things that you?re doing in your life.

And what this does is build a lot of evidence for your brain to grow in confidence in believing it. You know, I did this when I started my new business. I really didn?t believe I could get a client, right. I didn?t believe I could grow as a coach. It was like, I put that shingle up, I had a website and I just had moved from being a Weight Watchers leader to wanting to coach and coach on the phone and I didn?t have one client, but I knew I was a coach and I knew I was willing to learn whatever it took to start that business and to grow.

And I did it. I cannot believe the beauty of being a coach and the amount of people that I?ve served and how it?s growing every day. Another area, you know, ten years ago, I never thought I could get calm and peace around food. And ten years later, I?m building a really cool practice around it and helping others that might be frustrated like I am.

What do you want to start believing today? I would love to hear from you. Again, my email is diana@dianamurphycoaching.com.

You may want a little more support around this. It may sound confusing, how do I start these tools ? please remember, I love answering your emails. There?s also going to be a guide for you. I?m going to outline these concepts and walk you right through how to lay these down. And I?m going to close the episode just reminding you of what I?ve taught you today.

Start with one area then start listening to that new voice. Build on it and it will get more confident; you will hear it more strongly, whether that?s intuitive eating or just listening to your wise intuitive voice. And last, believe that you can learn to change your mind by believing new thoughts.

And watch out, those results are on the way. Thanks for listening today. I really, really appreciate it and I love that you spent the time here. Next time, what I?ve got for you is a surprising practice in my life of gratitude and how that really helped me to set my day off in a different way and has really translated into beautiful and empowered self-care; taking, not only care of my physical body, but my mental body in a really big way.

So find out next time how just dedicating five minutes of just spending some time with yourself can set you off on a really powerful day. I can?t wait to see you there and I really can?t wait to bring that to you. Alright, I?ll see you next time. Have a great and empowered day.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Empowered Wellness for Leaders! If you enjoyed this episode and want to learn more, download our Free Video Series: Empowered Wellness Now. Visit?dianamurphycoaching.com?to sign up today!