I love the concept of emotional intelligence, basically taking our power back in conversations and situations with others. At our core, we know to the bottom of our bones that we would love for others to understand our intentions. We crave being understood and we crave showing up in a way that we can be proud of.
I know no better way to show up as we intend than starting with an intentional practice of awareness. This can be done as we start our day, as we begin important or difficult conversations, as we do life (in pretty tight quarters!!) with our loved ones.
The only way to be clear and clean in the way that we show up is to be aware of what is going on with ourselves first. This is self-care at its finest. Developing a routine of asking ourselves how we are feeling and thinking creates a space in our mind where we actually begin to see that we can choose our thinking. It is the key to creating INTENTION in our lives. If you’d love to start this practice, check out Friday’s article for an effective journal practice I share. (truly 15 minutes at most a day)
What do we do, in the heat of it, when we’re about 5 minutes away from a difficult conversation? How can we create more intentional reactions and powerful conversations on the fly?
You can DECIDE what you’d need to think to feel confident and clear in that next moment.
Yes, you can decide instantly. It can be as simple as, “I know how ________ is wired, I’ll give her space to share and then I’ll share my new ideas.” Another, “I can lead this conversation” can be another great, in the heat of the moment intentional thought that can support you as you rock and roll through your day.
Create your own by asking a great question: What would I need to think in this situation to show up clearly and confidently?
When you look at my mindset model, the T line represents our Thoughts. We can use it for awareness 1st and intention, 2nd.
Circumstance: Important Meeting
Thought: I am leading this conversation
Feeling: Confident, Empowered
Actions: Listen intentionally, ask great questions, explain your points fully
Results: Conversation is well led
Those that we interact with are going to have their thoughts on the matter. We don’t need to convince them or change their mind. When we approach them with our own clear and clean mind, it is so much easier to give them the space to have their thoughts (upset, anxious, enthusiastic, worried, etc etc). When we do our work first, we can more clearly see THEIR THOUGHTS as separate from OUR THOUGHTS. We give them the honor of seeing their point of view and won’t be as reactive if they have strong emotions.
Keep it simple, your mind might resist, just give it a whirl. Awareness first of where you are and then decide how you want to show up.
Emotional Intelligence can be developed VERY quickly if we remember a few things:
- We can choose our thoughts
- Judgment of our thoughts isn’t helpful
- I have thoughts and they have thoughts
- I can believe what serves me to show up strong
Try a few of these thoughts on and see how differently your interactions feel with others. Intention vs Reacting always feels better to both people in the interaction. Even admitting how you are feeling can be so helpful.
Let’s all be better humans, first to ourselves and then to others. It’s the least we can do in this season of collective challenge.
Are you ready to check out my Zone of Genius MasterMind? Details Here. We start a new group in June. You’re invited to be a part of this powerful group.