Is there something you’ve been working really hard on, but success is looking less and less likely every day that goes by? Today, I’m going to go a little deeper into mindset work and give you a true taste of how you can begin believing in a way that creates the results that you truly want in your life by using the power of thought.
Every circumstance provokes a thought. What I want to illustrate today is how these thoughts don’t just impact our moods in the moment, but they create our actual results in our life.
Using the thought model I’m teaching today took me from being a yo-yo dieter to somebody who could lose weight and keep it off for good. The beauty of the Model is it works with any result you want to create in your life, so join me this week to start seeing the change you’ve been striving for.
Welcome to Empowered Wellness for Leaders, a podcast that teaches CEOs, entrepreneurs and sales leaders how to deal with the unique challenges of balancing a high-stress career, family, AND their own health. Here’s your host, Certified Executive Wellness Coach, Diana Murphy.
Good morning. I have a special announcement. I have been interviewed by the one and only Kristin Andree. She is an amazing woman here in Atlanta who is a financial advisor, but actually, really a business coach. And her podcast is called No Limits, and she goes live on Facebook every Tuesday night at 7:30 and my interview will be live with her on September 25th. So go look for it on her page, and her page is @andreegroup.
So look for Andree Group on Facebook and join us. We had so much fun and she could not stop talking about the hunger scale. And it was great to meet her and I know you’ll love what she’s bringing you and all of us on her podcast.
Today, I’m going to go a little deeper into mindset work and give you a true taste of how you can begin thinking and believing so that you can create the results that you truly want in your life. In recent podcasts, I’ve discussed the concepts of using different words like should versus want, dream, or dreamstorm – remember that one – versus planning, deserve and all the different ways that we can use that word.
But today, I’m going to help you to go a little deeper, not only with your awareness, but what to do with the awareness of what you’re thinking. This episode is all about the thoughts and the way you believe around all the facets in your life, in your amazing, empowered, and beautiful life. Are you ready?
Do you realize that how you speak to yourself has a true and lasting impact? Think about the way you talk about your day, your work, your marriage, your results. When you say these statements out loud to yourself, how do you feel?
For example, “I had a hard day. I love my job. I hate my mother in-law. My boss is impossible. My wife is incredible.” How do you feel when you say or think these statements? Do you feel energized? Do you feel heavy? Do you feel sad, discouraged, thankful?
What I want to illustrate today is how these thoughts don’t just impact our moods in the moment, but they create our actual results in our life. Your thoughts, my thoughts, especially when they are on repeat – which our brain loves, by the way – create a myriad of emotions.
These emotions create a reaction or an action in our life, sometimes even an inaction. When those actions are created over and over by this repetitive thinking – remember, the brain loves repeat – and those accompanying emotions are on repeat, they create the results in our lives.
Our thoughts are actually a choice. They are the direct results to the circumstances in our lives. Even though they are optional, it doesn’t feel this way because it really feels true that your mother in-law is difficult or your boss is harsh. Any of those thoughts seem really true because your brain loves familiar pattern
They feel absolutely true, but every thought is optional. Yeah, I know, this is sometimes hard to grasp until you see some really beautiful illustrations. I’m going to use my favorite illustration I used when I was an early weight-loss coach.
And I was a corporate Weight Watcher leader, as some of you might know. And one of my jobs was to register everyone’s weight as they joined the meeting. I know, we might have to change that process, although it provided some beautiful coaching opportunities at that scale. We called them scale talks.
Everyone had a weight, a number on the scale, and everyone had a different thought about that weight, right? You’ve seen it. If any of you have ever attended Weight Watchers, you see it. Let me show you.
Let’s use two different women and their circumstances are absolutely identical. They both weigh 175, but both had very different reactions. One is absolutely elated and another is mortified. But their circumstance – the truth of this situation – is they both weighed the exact same thing. They both weighed 175.
Although their circumstances are the same, they have very different thoughts about that number. And how do I know that? Because they had different feelings and reactions about that number. One is thinking, “Oh goodness, I just lost a total of 50 pounds. This is working. This is amazing.”
She goes straight to the grocery store, buys more healthy food and even loses two pounds the next week. And another woman realizes that she’s now gained five pounds from her vacation and, once again, thinks that this is never going to work. She treats herself to a fudge sundae after lunch because she feels so discouraged and bad, and of course, chocolate makes everything better, and she gains another pound that next week.
This, my friends, is the thought model; the tool that helped me. And now, it can help you. And frankly, it has changed my entire life. A full explanation of the thought model and these examples as a reference will be in the show notes; dianamurphycoaching.com/35. But don’t worry, I’m going to explain slowly and with some illustrations, so you can really understand this.
And I want you to know that this is a self-coaching thought model. This is not just used by coaches. The beauty of it is that we can all learn it and apply it to our own lives and self-coach ourselves through most situations.
Alright, circumstance is always at the top of the Model. It’s the fact of the situation, then, the thought that is a reaction to that particular circumstance. Next is the feeling-line; how do you feel when you think this thought? Next comes the action that is a result of feeling that way; what is the reaction for you to that feeling?
Those actions, when repeated over and over, are the last line of the model; result. Circumstance, thought, feeling, action, then result; CTFAR. I use it all the time. If you saw my coaching notes, you’d see it all over the place, and I’m going to share that outline with you.
Remember in our example, one woman thinks it’s working and creates the result of weight-loss. The other gains weight because she thinks and believes it isn’t working. Our thinking creates our results. The awareness of your thoughts and feelings is the first step, and so many of my podcasts have led you to that; being aware of those thoughts and feelings.
But really, seeing how it creates your results is the absolute magic of this tool, and it’s really like the second half. What you think creates every result in your life. We have a choice. We can sit back and run our lives with our default thinking, or you can choose to be aware of the thoughts and the feelings in your lives and live an empowered confident life by learning to think yourself to your results.
Think of all the coach geniuses out there; Tony Robbins, Brooke Castillo, by the way, who designed this Model, and so many others that you know that they have a story and you know that they’re very aware of what they think. And this isn’t mantra work. This is choosing to think in a way that creates for us, for you, the result you want in your life.
I’m going to share the best example I know, and it’s easy because it’s part of my story. And now that I’ve been trained as a coach and I’m on the other side of this, I realize that I didn’t magically succeed in losing weight for good because I found the right diet plan, did the right workouts, ate perfectly, weighed and measured my foods; I lose weight for good, my result, because I began to think and believe differently.
And also, when you think about my life in general, I was an empty-nest mom and now I’m an executive coach doing what I absolutely am passionate about; working with executives and top leaders. It’s amazing. You know I had to think differently walking from sending my last one off to college to this point, right?
And for those that don’t identify with the weight struggle, think of any achievement while I share my example and be sure to work out your own example on the worksheets included today. My circumstance was that I was working to lose weight, but my thought was, “I can’t lose weight and keep it off.”
That created a lot of feelings of anxiety around it. I worried about it. I had a lot of fear. Those were my feelings. But my actions were, I overreacted to the scale changes, in both ways, by the way. I’d overeat when I lost so much weight I thought it was so easy, and I would be totally discouraged if I gained weight.
I would give up really easily because all that worry just shuts you down. I would try things, but if I didn’t see quick results, I gave up again because I believed I couldn’t lose the weight and I couldn’t keep it off. And what were my results when I thought this over and over? I was the professional yoyo dieter.
I had, I think, three different sizes in my closet and a lot of fear and anxiety didn’t create a great life. I was in a lot of shame around it too. I’m a type-A; I love succeeding at things and this was taking me out at the knees. Then, this changed. I made a decision when I enrolled in Weight Watchers 12 years ago that I was going to learn to maintain my weight as I lost my weight.
I made a decision. The circumstance was exactly the same. I was working to lose weight, but I thought over and over, “I am learning how to maintain my weight-loss.” That created this beautiful feeling state of calm and mild confidence. The reactions and actions that I took out of that feeling state that I kept creating over and over, “I’m learning, I’m learning to maintain.”
I kept attending meetings for an extra year after I lost the weight, by the way. That thought really worked for me. I tried new things along the way. I made adjustments and after that time, I lost the weight and I learned to keep it off. That was my result.
This is no small thing. After a childhood of being very overweight, being on every diet known to man, and trying some very crazy workout solutions, I lost 35 pounds and kept it off for good. I’m still maintaining that weight today.
Now, I gain weight here and there, but do you see, I created such – and probably new thoughts around it because now I’m like, “I can lose weight anytime I need to. I can maintain my weight. I can keep my weight steady during vacation.” I created some other beautiful thoughts out of that, but the switch, my friends, was switching to that one thought, “I am learning how to maintain my weight-loss.”
This example can be applied to anything. I bet there’s some of you out there that had one teacher that offered the belief that you weren’t good at a particular subject like math or writing. If you started thinking this thought yourself, you might have struggled in that subject. But what I love about human nature, we just don’t give up too easily, do we?
You know, I never gave up and I’m finally here. I know that some of you bucked that teacher’s opinion and thought something differently, like, “I’m going to work hard and become a better student…” almost, like, to prove them wrong.
Do you see any obstacle that you’ve overcome? You did it because you began to think differently. It can even be a mild or neutral thought like I shared today. I just put myself in a learning thought and it created such calm in my life that I had a great experience.
Is there a result that you’re craving in your life? Would you love to create a new thought to create a new result? Well I’ve created something very special for you. It’s a new appointment option. It’s called a Quick Call, just 15 minutes. On this call, you share with me the one result you’re striving for working on in your life. We’ll brainstorm – or as you know, I like to say dreamstorm – and I’ll as you a few questions and help you to develop a new thought to begin your journey of creating a new result.
Don’t be bashful, my friends. This will change your life. It’s happening over and over for my clients in all the areas of their life that they bring to me in coaching conversations and I know it’s creating every result that I want in my life as a business owner.
I knew there was something different the last time I joined Weight Watchers. But all that changed was my thought about it and it changed the trajectory of my life for real.
What is the one thing you’re working on? Take just 15 minutes and get yourself on a better thinking path so that you can create a different result in your life. Live your empowered life like I finally did. I am so thankful for it. I’ll see you there.
Thank you for listening to this episode of Empowered Wellness for Leaders! If you enjoyed this episode and want to learn more, download our Free Video Series: Empowered Wellness Now. Visit dianamurphycoaching.com to sign up today!