Let’s get started. I want to talk today about dialing down stress, angst and worry. Our minds adopt patterns that even on a good day, one trigger puts you into a spin of worry and stress. Today I’m going to talk about dialing this town, managing as it happens, even before it happens.
As a coach I serve smart, ambitious clients. Their craft, their expertise is served well by their thinking. But their overthinking, your overthinking can be stealing a lot from them (I mean us) Oh there is an us. I’m living most of my life in my head, waking up thinking about what I was concerned about the night before and ugh, ideas running around all of the time. The struggle is real but it IS manageable.
I want to talk about a type of overthinking that is extremely harmful.It’s taking you out of your game. It’s robbing you of your concentration and energy. I’m bringing you a process that you can start applying today. I’m talking about that conversation that goes to a very dark place. A situation when something stressful triggers you during the day or you’re in a season where a lot is on your plate and stress is inevitable. BTW This can happen when great things are happening in your business and in a season of challenges.
I want to talk about those conversations that are telling a very ugly story about how things are going to turn out.
This is your opportunity. It is simple, but it is not natural. Start practicing it right now. You will be glad you did.
Notice Bring more Awareness to when this conversations are happening. This is empowering, I promise. We start WATCHING our thinking instead of feeling like a victim of it.
Rinse and Repeat
Reframe (even write what you’re leaning into believing anew)
You know that acquaintance of yours that wears you out about 5 minutes into conversation complaining about EVERYTHING not taking a break to even ask you if you have time to chat and catch up.
Well….That’s just like your mind that is going on and on with a dark story about your current circumstances. Interrupt it. Oh even be mad about it. You don’t have to be polite, it’s your own brain and you can ask it, tell it, yell at it to stop!!!
Yes let’s get a little light hearted as we see the ugly stories our brain offers. They can be crazy sometimes. Yes sometimes I get to laughing with my clients about the conclusions their mind is making. Our brains are awesome, they just need some training.
Again, whatever your circumstances are right now that are troubling you. They are real, this isn’t taking away the importance or gravity of what you’re going through.Curiosity Compassion with a little dose of humor. But the brain blends the truth with lots of fabrication, just trying to make logical sense of your situation.
This is your mind inviting you to interrupt it.
Back to my example: Isn’t it a relief when you’re trapped in one of those really negative conversations when a good friend walks by and interrupts it with a breath of fresh air and a positive question? So much relief……Oh Thank God you stopped by you find yourself thinking.
Well that’s exactly what you can do with the conversation in your mind.
It’s is so empowering when we put this to practice. And again, it’s a practice. You are in the process of rewiring the Trigger response and pattern of going to the negative. It will look amazing and effortless one time and you’ll catch it after a really long and hard day the next.
Nothing has gone wrong. It’s like yoga, one day a child’s pose, the next a headstand.
The step of interrupting works best when it looks like this…….Wait this way of thinking about this is NOT helpful. Yes, it might be true that this isn’t going to go well but…..what is also true? What is another way to look at this?
Interrupt the internal conversation…..
What is another way to think about this? This is the reframe step.
Notice when you feel the angst, the pressure the anxiety and
Breathe….let your body help you to calm down.
What is another way to think about this?
We have so many different lens and perspectives when we encounter an issue. Naturally, your brain goes to the dark side, it’s wired for fight or flight and it has picked up that you might need to RUN.
This reframe is all about putting your brain to work in all the positive ways things could turn out. It is asking your brain to do what it LOVES is answer questions and figure out a solution. It is NOT denying the circumstance that is happening to you (the sale of your business, a huge new project that is overwhelming you, a recent pivot that wasn’t your choosing). It is guiding the mind to a more helpful train of thought. So you can be your best and lead your company well.
When you spend more time reframing you can create some personal mantras or belief statements of your own you can now start investing in THOSE not the scarcity or dark thoughts your mind is landing on.
The process is simple:
Rinse and Repeat
Uplevel your awareness-more empowering than you think
Invest in reframing
This is the path to literally rewiring your brain. In a few weeks of practice, you’ll be able to look back and see that the day didn’t go to that dark place even though you got some really bad news first thing that morning.
You will realize you don’t need 2 glasses of wine right when you get home. Although I love the wine.
You will realize that you don’t have to pound out the stress on that run, you can just enjoy it and see what your body is capable of.
You will realize you are getting more done because you are not distracted by worry.
You will be able to spend time solving problems and investing in more future planning.
That is why this is A VALUABLE PROCESS. Regret proofing starts with being clear headed, decisive and moving from responding to each fire in your business to a space where you’re leading and guiding instead.
No one taught us that we weren’t our thoughts.
No one taught us that not every thought was true.
You have a choice, you can manage stress on the back end or you can be a brilliant expert at interrupting it and saving your concentration, your well being by investing in managing it.
I was on the early reading list of Jon Acuff’s book Soundtracks. This such a great resource because even for this thought work mindset coach, it gave me some new language around this work. AND it could be a great resource for you, I highly recommend it. He talks about how our mind latches on to a soundtrack, like a line in a song and if we allow it to think it, over and over, the soundtrack gets loud.
Another resource that my clients love and I send often is The Practicing Mind by Thomas Sterner. You can google him to find some of his podcast interviews explaining this process and some of the science behind it. He does a beautiful job of helping us in this world of constant interruption.
Let me know how this works for you and watch for the Master Class Videos to be up on the website soon.
I’m all about helping you to Regret Proof all of the decisions and twists and turns you make in your business. During your business formation, growth and even it’s sale. Join me at dianamurphycoaching.com to get the resources you need.
Thanks for being here.