Welcome to Weight Loss for CEOs. A podcast that teaches executives and leaders how to deal with the unique challenges of achieving sustainable weight loss while balancing the responsibility of a growing company, family, and their own health. Here’s your host, executive coach, Diana Murphy.
Oh my goodness, you are missing out if you have not hopped on my website and signed up for Lose Your First 5 Pounds video-series. I am getting fabulous feedback from those that are going through the series. And I quote, “So, in the time that I signed up for your first five pounds thing, I have lost seven pounds.”
What are you waiting for? Sign up for the series at dianamurphycoaching.com on that front page. Get what you came for in this podcast and now, with the entire series. It’s set up to be complemented with the podcast series from 001 episode to 009, which are the basic tools to lose weight, so I hope you’ll join me there.
And this leads me right into the topic I have for you today, to answer the question for you, why would someone use coaching to lose weight? What can you expect if you dug in and applied the work and tools I share, which are all here on the podcast? The results are amazing. This podcast is meant to be an encouragement. I hope that you can see, from the examples and stories that I share today that this is so possible for you.
I heard a quote today from someone in my coaching community that coaches mindset like I do with the thought model really saying that we are just one or two thoughts away from the results we really crave. What if that was true for you? I’ll be honest here, my goal when I first started as a coach was to simply help people to lose weight with the food tools I teach and to help them just stop eating emotionally. I thought those were the only things that were going on.
But as I dug in and worked with clients that were top producers and owners of businesses, the movers and shakers I call them, I found out something else; mindset work is always key. As a coach, I, quote/unquote, knew this. But in real life, applying it is transformational.
My clients are creating results in their lives that they had no idea would come out of investing in coaching to lose weight. And this is happening for a few reasons. First, they are investing in themselves. Just by taking the step to put money on the table to solve an issue, that always pays off. It’s a sign that you, at some level, are believing that the results you’re investing in are possible. And so it really works.
Investing time and money on yourself, you are always going to see great outcomes. It’s just true. By investing the time of listening to the podcast as you are and applying the tools I’m sharing, you can create those results as well. That’s my goal.
And second, my clients are simply learning to manage their mind, and I hope you’re picking that up as well if you’ve listened to some of my mindset podcasts. I’m going to share some amazing results I’m witnessing with my clients and these are people that I’m currently working with and some I’ve worked with in the past. I’ve chosen their stories because they inspire me by the results they see.
Their stories will be generalized and no names will be used because my clients can trust in their confidentiality. But because, from this side of the mic, I see very similar issues pop up, and I want you to know that you’re not alone with some of these struggles, and more importantly, that there is a solution. And remember, I did it.
I had a lifetime of struggle, and now, food has no drama at all in my life. I’m going to offer a taste of that for you today, of really seeing inside, peeling back the curtain.
This is something that, for me, has really made a difference in my growth, and I want to share a couple of things for you, just off the cuff; I have invested some time in listening to podcasts that peel back the curtain. And one of them that I absolutely love is Master Class. And this is Oprah, but it’s not her main podcast. It is a secondary one where people share their stories.
Oh my goodness, you would think that you just can achieve anything when you hear where some of the people that we idolize, where they’ve come from. And that is also happening in my coaching community. I have coaches that are really successful, but they’re sharing the struggles. They’re sharing the reality of the day to day. And then I don’t feel like the goals that I have in my life are too far away. That’s exactly what I want to create for you today. That’s why I created this podcast in particular.
What I’m sharing today is the magic of truly managing your mind and taking care of your physical health from an intuitive space, not a diet space or a head space, like a decision-making space. My first story is so good.
I worked with a woman who was, I will call her a corporate travel warrior. Any friend would say that she just didn’t have time for anything else but work, and definitely not time to lose 50 pounds. But I was her coach and I wanted her to have the life she wanted. Her goals were to lose weight while she was working in this job.
She had gained a lot of weight during a particularly busy season, and we started working together because the same issue of heavy travel was coming ahead of her, and she knew she didn’t want to not only gain more weight, but wanted to start taking it off. She thought that the issue was the method of losing weight, but it really as something else.
And like so many of us, she was overeating or getting off-plan, per se, after a busy week, or even while she was on the road dining out. She was spending a lot of her weekends resting up after that tough week and getting ready for yet another week on the road.
She spent a lot of time at home when she was off the road. What she really discovered is that she was consistently using food to create joy. She was exhausted, was thinking that she deserved a break with food, and frankly, food gave her joy. If we think food will give us joy, it will, because that’s a thought.
But there’s also a biological component that food gives us please, but food’s pleasure is not long-lasting. Her mind was telling her there’s no joy without food, but as true as it felt for her, there was something else that she sensed would give her joy. Without giving away too many personal details, she loved playing music and playing with a group of friends on weekends and she talked herself out of enjoying that group for rehearsals during the week as well as those weekend events because she was so tired and needed to rest up.
But what she could see was that she was missing something that gave her joy. She dug in and got curious. She started taking part in activities that lit her up, that gave her joy. Now, this doesn’t mean she didn’t have to pay attention to the food at all. In fact, she kept working very diligently on that. But when she started making decisions that answered the question, what gives me joy, and honored them, the food was no longer necessary.
I recently saw a photo of her and even if I hadn’t told you this story today, if you saw that photo, you would sense that she was filled with joy. In this photo, she was on the road, proud of the work that she had accomplished, and I’m noticing she’s lost more weight, but I saw joy.
She is now living a life where she knows she can work hard and travel and take care of her body in a healthy way and partake in activities that fill her up on weekends so she’s not so dang emotionally tired. Some weeks wear her out, but what I do know is this; she is more restored on weekends because she’s no longer believing that food gives her joy, but that life does.
She changed what she was believing and her results show that change, the shift in belief. She had a choice to believe that her job was wearing her out, that she had no time to take care of herself, but she chose to think very differently, one thought at a time, which created lasting results for her.
Don’t you love that? It’s one or two – and she’ll claim, and I do claim, there’s more thoughts than that, but the work of seeing results in your life that are very different by shifting your mind, just mind-blowing.
Okay, the next story is mind-blowing to me. This client did share that it’s okay to share her story, but still I want to protect her. She came to me to work on losing weight. She is the CEO of a franchise company here in Atlanta. And in the past four months, she has lost over 18 pounds and was invited for a final interview to be the CEO of the entire franchise.
What? Why am I making the connection on her coaching work and this invitation? Yes, she came to me for losing weight, but look at what is showing up in her life. How does working on losing weight get you invited into top leadership? Looking sharper? No, she probably had only lost about 10 pounds by then.
No, by bravely working on the issue in her life of carrying that extra weight, she shifted many of her beliefs about herself. Many of us, just like her, don’t take great care of ourselves because of so many beliefs about our self-worth, and also that tricky belief that many CEOs believe that they can’t put themselves before the work of their company.
She has shifted in her self-belief so strongly that this was seen by management. And although she didn’t get the job, she was in the final, final, final running.
To stay steadfast and not to give up on her goal for weight loss took some mental fitness. She had to see that her opinion of herself mattered. She was developing belief that she could lose weight; something that she had not done successfully long-term before and that she was worth the investment and the time to solve this issue.
This belief didn’t stop at weight loss and self-care, no, this bled into every other area of her life. She was believing something very new and it was creating new results.
And the story is not over. During the past few months, her business has hit a few bumps financially, and not of her own doing. But it triggered so much fear for her. Remember, money is neutral, but our thoughts around money are not.
Do you know that she did not gain any weight during this crisis? What would have been a normal sliding back for most of us, and she admitted for her, it did not happen. She was learning with the thought model I share with you often that our circumstances in our lives do not cause our results. Our thoughts around them do.
She stayed with the tools and she stayed with herself, frankly. She saw that the fear was coming from her thoughts and now is onto herself when those fears are triggered. She allows herself to experience the emotions instead of eating about it to feel better. And now, she is managing her thoughts in a proactive way. We’re working on belief together.
She’s stepping into belief that she can lead this company out of this business issue. And she really knows she can. You should have heard her. She was on fire in our last call. Here, in her case, she is literally managing her mind instead of going on automatic pilot. She is choosing and practicing believing thoughts that put her into inspired action.
She is already solving the issue instead of being shut down. This is mental fitness, mindset work, and it’s everything. Without the insight or tools on knowing how to manage her mind, this could have been a very different but normal story.
I don’t know about you, my friends, I don’t want to have a normal story, and my clients don’t want to be normal either. They want to be successful. She might have stopped taking care of herself or totally been stalled business-wise by these circumstances, but she leaned in and is coaching herself in all of these many moments. Isn’t this amazing?
I am so proud of her. It takes one, courage to look at what our mind was offering her thought-wise. Sometimes we don’t want to go to those thoughts because they feel so awful, but they’re just thoughts. Two, she was remembering that her self-worth is not dependent on financial success at all. And three, taking care of herself was key to succeeding, not only in terms of continued weight loss, but in her business’s journey of success. She needed to be fully on point to handle what’s coming her way.
I am so excited to share these stories with you. I want to give you an opportunity to see what is possible if you do the same, even today in the podcast. Would you like a taste of transformation? Well, let’s stop here so I can give you an idea of how to have this in your life. You might have to listen to this again, but I want you to sink in and listen to this concept.
Certainly these transformations that I’m sharing with you come from continued coaching conversations. I didn’t just learn to be a coach and then have great success. I have been coached over and over and over, but self-coaching is a tool I use often and it’s effective for most of the issues in our lives.
But when we’re too close to see what’s happening, that’s a great time to hire a coach. That’s why, as a coach, I will always invest in coaching at a deeper level, not just for my own sake, but really for my own sake because my life is so much better with it, but also for my clients’ sake.
Alright, so number one, like my clients, I want you to take a deep breath here. It’s natural to be resistant, but I want you to think right now of one area where you’re experiencing a lot of frustration or pain. Name something that, if this issue were solved, you would be feeling awesome and have the life you absolutely want. It can be something small or something big; what comes to your mind first?
And again, I’m going to ask that question again. Name something that, if this issue were solved, something that’s bringing you a lot of pain or frustration that you would absolutely feel awesome if you had that issue solved? This is the courageous part. Really, just take a minute to admit that although you put on a brave face, that you’d like something different in some area of your life.
We, as humans, were designed to grow, and this discomfort can help us to identify where we’re yearning to make a change, a shift. Be specific. Is it losing 35 pounds? Is it becoming profitable in your business? Is it hiring more staff for your company? Is it taking more time off, taking a real vacation, running a marathon, just stopping work at 6pm? Be specific.
Now I want you to go to another place. I want you to ask another question; why aren’t you taking action on this goal? And not with judgment – it sounds like it at first, right? When I ask these questions with early clients, it’s like, so why aren’t you doing that, and immediately it feels like judgment because we’re so good at judging ourselves. And you’re going to have to be really strong here and be the coach of yourself, and not judge yourself at all asking this question; why aren’t you taking action on this goal?
Write down every reason you can think of. This will bring up to the surface the thoughts that are creating your current result. Write as many that come up as possible. Remember, they’re just thoughts. Stay curious, which is the most powerful self-coaching tool ever, and write down all of the reasons why you’ve not attained that goal.
Let me give you a mini example. And if you stop the podcast and you’re writing down, I’m really thrilled. Alright, so let me give you an example. Why haven’t you lost 35 pounds? This is what can come up so easily. I don’t have enough time. I have a slow metabolism. I’m under too much stress. I dine out all of the time. These are the thoughts that are creating a life where you carry an extra 35 pounds.
But those thoughts are optional. They seem really true, but what if you switch them around a bit? Your brain – let me explain here – your brain has practiced thinking these thoughts so much that they’re so familiar that when someone asks you or when you think about this subject or this goal in your life, you immediately come up with these responses.
This is your brain working in pattern like it does. They make a lot of sense. They feel true. But I want to remind you, what if they were just thoughts and you could choose to think anything in this situation that you wanted to? This is what I mean that our goals and the results we want in our life are just one or two thoughts away.
Alright, so these are some new ones that, if I was coaching you in those thoughts that come up, this is what I’d offer. What about practicing thinking, I take time to exercise, even if it’s small bits at first. Do you see the difference? I don’t have enough time makes us pull back and we can’t get creative. But what if I’m a person that takes time to exercise? And even though it might be hard to believe, if you keep saying this, how would you feel if you were the person that took time to exercise – those emotions will put you to action.
Your brain is, like, well I’m a person that exercises, so even when I’m on the road, I work out. This is how this works. Alright, here’s another one. People with slow metabolisms still lose weight, I can too. See how I turned that around? I have a slow metabolism – no, people with slow metabolisms still lose weight, I can too. Do you see how that creates confidence?
And if you thought that all the time, your brain would go to work and give you a lot of different actions that come from a much more positive emotion. The brain loves solving things, so let it solve it in a new way, by thinking and believing in a new way.
Alright, another one, I’m under too much stress was the reason you’re not losing that weight. And this is the new thought; stress is part of life. I’m going to relax at lunchtime and eat a healthy meal. Stress is part of life. We just let it flow by. It’s just part of things. Do you see the difference, the emotional state?
I’m under too much stress – that makes me pull back. It gives me more stress, by the way, I don’t know about you. And if you just say calmly a more neutral thought, stress is a part of life, it changes everything. I feel light when I say it. And not just because I’m the coach trying to convince you, I am the coach sharing with you a new optional thought. What if you just started thinking that thought more often?
Alright, I travel a lot. Listen to this turnaround. And it’s not even a turnaround, it’s a more neutral bridge thought. I can get creative and take care of myself on the road. Bam, done.
Another one is, for I travel a lot or for very busy people – I love this turnaround. A client offered it. It’s one that she’s believing and it’s so good; planning makes me more efficient. I can plan in areas that are a challenge for me. Planning makes me more efficient; how does that feel? Try these on.
And the last one I use is, I dine out all the time. And it can be as simple as, I can plan my meals ahead of time by looking at the menu. I can decide ahead of time what to eat. They’ll have different foods for me. Healthy people eat at these restaurants. Do you see? We can come up with very creative thoughts that turn these things around.
So, I’ve given you some new thought options to think, and coming up with your own that create a really positive emotional state and you see when you think those thoughts that you take those actions that create the result you want, those are the ones to hang onto. Sometimes they really need to be personalized.
Those thoughts though create different results because they are more neutral. They are much more neutral than giving up ahead of time. They create emotions that create action. Try a new turnaround on for yourself. See how it makes you feel. See if your brain comes up with steps to take when you think that thought.
Even just practicing the thought, practice those emotions. Sometimes, I just choose to be calm when I normally would be very anxious, like when I’m about to do a presentation or an event, I will just sink into calm. This is what this thought work can do by practicing.
This work has two important steps that you’ve already noticed. One, just ask that question. Where’s an area where you experience a lot of frustration and pain, and if it were solved, what would that be? Name something that if it were solved, you’d just feel awesome and have the life you wanted. And two, why aren’t you taking action on that goal or that desire? What’s stopping you? What’s getting in the way? Make a really full list, then know that you can turn those thoughts around by believing something very, very different.
Now, thought turnarounds are really powerful, but what I want to share with you, thought awareness, our awareness of what we’re thinking is just as powerful as looking for new neutral thoughts. I encourage you to do this work very slowly with yourself and definitely ask me questions at email@example.com and I’ll get back to you in a few days.
Alright, there’s one more important step that my clients are taking in their work. They are nipping judgment and self-critical thinking in the bud. Your worth is not dependent on whether you achieve this goal. Take judgment and self-critical thinking out of the equation.
You are an amazing human being, whether you lose weight or not, whether you hit the goal or not, whether you do the presentation perfectly or not, you are brilliant. And sometimes, disrupting self-critical thinking is helpful to ask a good question. And this question for you today is, what are you brilliant at in your life?
Deep breath, you’re not being arrogant, but what are you absolutely brilliant at? Remember that every time you dig into step one and step two. This process is so powerful. It’s simple, but powerful. Identify the one thing you’d like to change, then ask why you aren’t there. Three, write down the thoughts that come up, and those reasons are your thoughts. Come up with every reason you’re not there. Write a new neutral thought or statement that creates action for you, that feels good, you’ll know. And remind yourself of how amazing you are.
Practice and remind yourself of the thoughts that turn this situation around, thought by thought, feeling by feeling, and action by action. You’ve got this, and I can’t wait to see what happens for you as you apply this skill. I hope you’ve enjoyed the stories I’ve shared with you today. These women that I’ve worked with inspire me daily because they are living really big lives. And they thought enough of themselves to stop and decide to do the work of losing weight and facing their demons in a way.
Isn’t it that way? I know that there’s been two spaces that I’ve had to face my demons, and one has been with weight loss for sure. That is my full transformation. And the next is being a business owner at a time in my life that I really didn’t know that this is something I was going to really want to do. So everything has been new for me in the last four years. And now, I’m really rocking it because I faced the demon of just feeling like a fraud sometimes when I was trying to just step out and do this work in my early days.
So, I hope these stories help you. I hope my encouragement helps you today. And I just have loved bringing these stories to you. There’s going to be more. Have a fabulous, fabulous day.
Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for CEOs. If you enjoyed this episode and want more, visit dianamurphycoaching.com for Diana’s latest free coaching tools to get started losing weight without having to start a diet now.