I want to talk about resilience in a really simple way. I want to talk about creating an awareness for yourself of when your method of bouncing back might not be The Best for you and how making some small tweaks on how you’re handling all of these challenges might make a healthy difference for you.

It’s all about bouncing back strong…

What You’ll Learn From this Episode:

• I want to talk about resilience in a really simple way, although the topic has a lot of depth to it.
•  3 steps to create a bounce back that creates joy, healthy routines and the energy we need to keep going….no matter what.
• It’s SO AWESOME to be resilient and not let anything get you down and keep moving.

Featured on the Show:

• Leave comments below this post or email me at? diana@dianamurphycoaching.com
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Hello there!! I hope you’ve been enjoying your morning boost (or afternoon boost whenever you have a chance to listen). Remember new episodes will go live on Monday am’s for you to get started strong with a new facet or nuance of mindset that can support you that week.

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There’s a lot of discussion around the topic of resilience right now.  As we round out 2020, there is actually a lot to bounce back from. The definition of resilience is the ability to bounce back after experiencing difficulty.  

I want to talk about resilience in a really simple way, although the topic has a lot of depth to it.  I want to talk about creating an awareness for yourself of when your method of bouncing back might not be The Best for you and how making some small tweaks on how you’re handling all of these challenges might make a healthy difference for you.

It’s all about bouncing back strong….

And by healthy I mean being able to be present in your business and for your loved ones in the midst of a LOT to handle. To be in a position to be enjoying what IS going well and to keep moving forward healthily. 

Nothing like a pandemic to reveal how resilient we are and we are fricking resilient my friends.  We are like those blow up dolls that when you punch them they keep coming right back up!!  Over and over again, 

but at what cost?  

I think this season in our lives has simply brought an awareness of how we have been handling stress all along.  And that is a good thing.  Because now it’s not difficult to see what is going on with our own patterns.  

When we can see something, we can change it, shift it. 

How about you just tweak one? One way that you’re bouncing back from tough news or a hard week or a disappointing result.  

There is a way that we can bounce back that can cause harm.  When we bounce back by just pushing through without pause, we can cause more harm than good. Hey this works and is necessary in the short term but to come back strong, in a sustainable way, let’s look at what might be needed.  

I have a process that I’m learning right along with you and have been leading my clients through.  3 steps to create a bounce back that creates joy, healthy routines and the energy we need to keep going….no matter what. Bouncing Back Strong…

1. Aware of what we say in our minds when we ignore our pain (notice it, detach, let it go)
2. Learn how to process the emotions that are flooding us on the regular (learning, but it’s fascinating even the crappiest of emotions only last 90 seconds if we allow them)  They amplify and hang there when we resist them.  
3. Look at our personal self care routine, make a shift that supports us no matter what comes our way.

I rolled into the pandemic quarantine life with a really rocking self care routine.   I was taking time off here and there, I worked out regularly, I ate well, I was starting to learn about the power of sleep.

AND BAM, CoVid

Now remember CoVid was a circumstance.  Nothing I could do anything about.  My thoughts did not serve me. 

I was mad, You took away my gym, I can’t shop for flowers when the urge, no more socializing with friends or colleagues.  I was so bummed.  These were the things in my life that lit me up and fueled me. 

And through it all, I robbed myself of some key areas of self care that I think would have supported my resilience vs feeling quite a bit weary just totally worn out. 

My thoughts about CoVid created a lot of resistance and anger so…..I literally stopped working out unless I had time to join my husband’s classes he was doing.  I stopped doing small things for myself,I was missing my people but I did NOTHING about it to re engage.

So my thoughts and resentment at CoVid were not helping me, these thoughts created a pull back and resistance to doing what I KNEW would feel great and nourish me.  And this went on for a while.

After a few really tough weekends where I was kinda over feeling sad and worn out, I started finally looking at what was going on.  I was now aware something was NOT working for me in the thought department now to number 2. 

I started being ok with feeling sad, almost grieving a bit that old life I missed.  I, like you, was afraid that if I leaned into those feelings they would not go away.  I know in my HEAD this doesn’t work but oh ya I’m a coach but I’m also a human.  

I am wired in a way that my natural reaction is not to process my emotions.  Just being ok with fact was a helpful start.  What I’m saying is you do you!!! But do realize that all of us experience emotion, what we do with it can be key to our well-being.

So, I just gave myself permission to feel sad, to be ok with not being my perky high energy self.  And it really gave me some relief.  I tried this ‘allowing’ on faith and head knowledge that this was the process for me to dig into.  Truly, I think I judge myself for being in negative emotion and giving myself permission, a bit of ease, giving myself some weekend days to just flow with it, really helped me.  I started feeling joy again.  

And it was in this space that I started seeing what I needed.  I started seeing what I was resisting, what I was craving but not giving myself because of all of those resistant and negative thoughts I had at first. It came slowly but when I saw what I needed I started taking some steps.

I started buying and arranging flowers.  ANd don’t tune out guys, for my husband I can see that planting in the yard and gardening, buying herbs, etc has been like this for him.  OK even trips to Home Depot, right?  This is a bit of a hobby for me.  It absolutely lights me up, I mean $30 worth of flowers from Trader Joe’s and some time at my sink with a few vases and BAM I’m giddy.  I don’t get why this works so powerfully but I’m leaning into it. It literally gives me relief from all the sadness. Remember, identify what you’re missing and jump in and get it!!!!  

From this space my husband and I made some bold moves and invested not only in some exercise equipment but we cleaned and upgraded our basement.  We both love the gym but decided to stop waiting for shelter in place to be over and went all in.  

Is there something you’re NOT doing that is hurting your bounce back?  What is getting your attention right now?   Do it!! Don’t let sheltering in place, lack of travel take what you need from you.  I know it’s annoying to be on Zoom, I know you miss your people, man I DO TOO but withholding what we need from ourselves is killing our resilience, I think it IS causing us harm.

I know you’re resourceful. How can you create an experience that you miss in the BEFORE? Or anything that is getting your attention around this.  

So want to bounce back in a way that serves you?………

1.  Trace back from what you’re feeling and ask Why?  What am I thinking that is creating negative emotion?
2. Lean in and identify that emotion. Describe where it sits in your body, what does it feel like can you just breathe and allow it KNOWING and TRUSTING that it will move its way through. Don’t judge it, give it permission to be there, let it move.
3. Last but not least, what are you craving or missing that you can add back, make a shift on in your life?  Do it!  

It’s SO AWESOME to be resilient and not let anything get you down and keep moving.  But how we do that bounce back is EVERYTHING in terms of your health.  

I feel stronger than I did this past summer, and you can too.  Watch your bounce back routine and see what needs some attention, it will do you, your loved ones and your business a bit of good. FOR REAL.

Have a tremendous week.

And remember, you’re doing a really good job!!!!